England put India out of ICC World T20

Read downwards. As per convention.

19.34

Greetings, gang. Technology, eh? We were supposed to be using new software that allowed me to see directly into Sidey’s brain but, like the future in general, it let me down. So. News from Lord’s is that England crawled to 153/7 after a great start from Ravi Bopara (37) and Kevin Pietersen (46).

The experiment of putting in Dimi Mascarenhas at No 4 with nine overs to go kind-of failed, as he hit 25 off 27: that start of 71/1 off ten looked good, but the innings just never caught fire. India brought back Sharma as soon as Dimi came in and Dimi managed just two boundaries rather than the expected barrage of sixes. BUT Sidey, digging it in short on the premise that the Indians don’t like it up-em  has struck twice to leave India 25/2 off four…now read on.

1937

Bowling the fifth over, it’s Infant Phenomenon Stuart Broad, to Ravi Jadeja. Having seen both India and Pakistan play at this World Cup, my thoughts arw that their crowd brings so much life and atmos to the event that we must take any chance we can to get them playing in England more often - talk of Headingley and Old Trafford trying to become temporary ‘homes’ for Pakistan in the coming years. Clearly no downside?

Anyway, Jadeja hoofs Broad to cow corner for two to complete that over and India are 31/2 off five.

Old over-by-over favourite Steven Ellans is on the lines already.

1940

James Anderson now, bowling to Gautam Gambhir, who is klind of the unsung hero of this Indian batting line-up. they need an innings fro mhim today. Or, possibly, they just need Yuvraj to come in next and whack 60 off 20. You choose. Anyway, two dot balls to start the over, as England build the pressure nicely. This is such a tense, must-win game. Gambhir drives the third ball uppishly throuhg extra-cover for four - very well-placed shot from an overpitched ball.Next ball, a square drive, stopped very well with a diving save by Ravi at point.

Next ball from from Jimmy is back of a length and offering Jadeja no width - a great T20 ball. Not that the English crowd are cheering. Why is that? Dot balls are how you win T20s. Last ball is wide and short and Jadeja tries to slap it back down the ground- but it’s no run and after the Powerplay India are 36/2.

Thoughts? editors@spincricket.com

1948

India are 40/2 - Broad hits Gambhir with a short ball and then has a big but optimistic for a catch behind from another short ball - and then Gambhir fails to connected with yet another short ball. Is the length or the pace or the pitch so hard to read? Whatever, having started the second half as second favourites, England have clawed their way back in. And here’s KP…

1950

The left-handed Gambhir steps down the pitch and hits KP over wide mid-off for four. Any reason why KP has come on ahead of Swann?

India are 49/2 off eight overs, needing 105 to win off 72 balls. Obviously, we’re behind England on Spincricket.com but you’d have needed a heart of stone not to laugh at Graeme Swann’s dismissal. Just as the intro clip of him telling us proudly how good he is at the reverse-sweep left the screen we cut to him being bowled by a ruler-straight ball from Harbhajan, which he was trying to hit somwhere towards France. Hmmm.

19.55

Luke Wright into the attack now. England bustling through these overs and they still have four from Swann to come.

19.56

Wright drops one too short - he’s only bowling early 80s mph despite his bustling run-up - and Jadeja hooks him for four. Wright follows up with a bouncer that nearly takes Jadeja’s head off. A great bouncer, in fact.

54/2 off nine overs now. And lantern-jawed publicity hound Graeme Swann comes into the attack. He’s looking good - the Indians are getting slightly panicked here and Swann is varying his pace well - there’s two singles off the first three balls, but England won’t mind that.

The crowd - pretty much an Indian home crowd, let’s not forget, has gone very very quiet. 59/2 off ten overs. 95 needed off 60- balls. I reckon England need to keep this pair in at any cost and not take a wicket and get Dhoni or Yuvraj in. Obvious…

20.20

Harsha Bhogle comes onto commentary. Dimi comes on to bowl.

20.04

Gambhir OUT! He tries to dink Dimi round the corner on the leg-side and is caught by Broad! An absolute dolly. Gambhir goes for 26 off 26. England on top but - uh-ooh- here comes Yuvraj Singh, the middle-order playboy.

Oh blimey.

And Yuvraj hits his very first ball for a MASSIVE straight six! 102 metres!

Now, we got a game: India are 68/3, needing 86 off 66 balls.

20.08

Now Jadeja is down the wicket to Swann - but there’s only a single there, down to Broad at long-on. So here’s Yuvraj again, whose current strike rate is 600… Swann starts with a leg-side wide. Where else can you bowl to this man? Well, Yuvraj hits the next ball for just a single up to long-off… Jadeja has 21 off 28 - England must at least keep him in. Surely?

India need 80 to win from 48. tight. Very tight. Stuart Broad returns. Jadeja now has 22 off 31. He tries a whippy hook off a short ball from Broad and fails to make much contact. No run. Yuvraj off strike. Good news for England. How nervous must Jadeja feel? A whole nation is urging him to get out the way. Finally, he hooks Broad for just a single.

Two balls to face - the first is an excellent ball that gets big bounce up to Yuvraj’s chest - he can only steer it to third man for a single. Still the England crowd failto get behind their team. Final ball - Jadeja hooks the ball for two. Just four off the over. India need 76 off 42

20.15

Swann to Yuvraj. SIX. Straight down the ground. Attempted yorker didn’t quite come off. He has 15 off six now. Then a single. And then Jadeja goes for a big hit and is CAUGHT by a brilliant catch from Stuart Broad back on the rope - well, that could easily have gone for six, down at long-on, but the 6ft7 Broad plucked it from the air a couple of feet inside the rope. He goes for 25 off 35.

Not sure whether Broad should just have patted the ball down to keep slowcoach Jadeja in. Seriously. Because now it’s MS Dhoni. He does everything with a big old flourish and an elaborate flick of the wrists of course.

Just don’t follow him into the gents. Whatever you do.

India are 85/4 now.

20.20

Drama! Swann lures Yuvraj forward, he plays and misses and Foster is appealing for a stumping. It’s gone to the Third Ump (not me). It looks out on the replays. Massive decision this. It’s OUT! The meek English supporters FINALLY find their voice. Yuvraj looks very miserable. He goes for 17 off nine balls. I wonder what he’ll have to say to Jadeja for using up all that time? Great work from Foster.

Yusuf Pathan is the new batter.

Chris Cooper has been in touch at editors@spincricket.com: “Hey all, looks a good position, can’t wait to see what new and exciting ways England can come up with to make this turn into a humiliating defeat!”

Come on, Coops. Chin up. Here comes Sidey.

Boy, the Indian bench looks pretty suicidal right now. 65 needed off 33.

Now, Dhoni edges Sidey and JUST avoids a diving Foster. That’s four. Does anyone actually enjoy watching England? It’s always so damned tense - unless, of course, they lose by a street, then it’s just too damned depressing.

Seven off the over from Sidey: 94/5. India need 60 from 30

20.27

Swann to Dhoni, who whips the ball wristily up the ground for a single. Very very tense here at Lord’s. And -oh! – Yusuf has hoisted Swann over cow corner for a big SIX! And then a single, to follow. 51 needed off 26. Bumble says that’s less than two a ball. Cheers.

Bumble says the atmosphere is rocking. Cameras cut to shot of Indian girl yawning like a lion. Poor old Bumble. India need 50 from 24. Luke Wright to bowl again. Wright bowls a high full toss at Dhoni who gets a top-edge down to the pavilion rope for four. Well, that was a wild-looking ball but doubtless deliberate. Didn’t work, though. Weird game this. Now Dhoni pastes a wide ball from Wright into the covers where Colly makes a diving stop - saving two runss

Now, even Sidey is diving around in the field. Eleven of the over, though.

Anderson, Broad and Sidey all have one over to go: 39 runs needed.

20.35

England were going to bring back Broad - but they settle on Anderson. What does that mean? Broad to bowl the final over. No pressure, son. Mind you, it’s all pressure at this stage.

Ball 1: a yorker - Pathan digs it out, hard, hits stumps at bowler’s end, scrambles two… 37 needed off 17.

Ball 2: Too short - Pathan hooks it to mid-wicket for FOUR! 33 off 16 needed

Ball 3: high full-toss. Pathan surprised, possibly. Whips it away for a single to mid-wicket. 32 off 15 needed.

Ball 4: yorker. Dhoni whips it away into leg-side for a single. India need 31 off 14.

Ball 5: another yorker, another single. 30 needed off 13. Very tense.

Ball 6: one of them new-fangled slower bouncers from Jimmy - 74.9mph - Dhoni waits for it and can only hit it scrappily down to square leg for two. India need 28 from 12.

20.40

Broad to bowl this penultimate over. Laughing boy Ian Chappell - Mr Excitement - tells us that Broad went for 36 off an over v India at the last World T20.

Seriously?

So Sidey will bowl the last over. If it’s needed. Here’s Broad…

Eoin Morgan is on! Spin’s own Eoin Morgan! Good move. The Gary Pratt Tradition.

Broad coming round the wicket. Ball 2 - England miss a run out chance as Broad fumbles a return from Swann. Ball 4, Pathan steps back hits over cover and picks up two. India need 22 from 8. They need something big now. Ball 5: another two - scampered after Pathan hits it down to long-on. Broad has been bowling every ball wide outside off, from around the wicket, that new hit-or-miss tactic England have come up with for this tournament. Here. it’s kind of worked - though India have at least got a bat on every ball. 20 runs needed off seven.

20.45

Well, this is it, fellas. India need 19 from six. Sidey to bowl. Where’s your money?

Sidye, Colly and Jimmy have a conflab re: field placings. It still feels very tense, even though England are surely in the box seat.

Very very tense. Pathan takes a single off the first ball. 18 needed off five. Dhoni hoiks the next ball to wide mid-on and picks up to. But India only need 16 off four now. It still feels tense - but surely England are home now?

Ball 3 from Sidey is a perfect yorker - Dhoni digs it out but it’s just a single. 15 from three needed. Ball 4- is a SIX- a straight six from Pathan - India need nine from two. Oh my word -big drama here. It’s still on.

Ball 5 - another great yorker from Sidey - just a single. Last ball: Dhoni whips it away for four to cow corner. But England have won by three runs! Remarkable stuff - and the hero of the day was Ryan Sidebottom, picking up those two eartly wickets.

Well, Yuvraj Singh hit 17 off nine; Yusuf Pathan hit 33 from 17 and MS Dhoni 30 off 20 - but by the time they got to the wicket, there was already too much to do. Ravi Jadeja’s 25 from 35 balls will be debated by India fans - and they may ask why he was sent in at No 4 ahead of Dhoni and Yuvraj.

So India are out and now England play West Indies tomorrow to decide the semi-final place.

Thanks for reading! See you soon, pals.