November 5
After a modest, quiet build-up that has lasted a mere 17 years, England finally fly out to Australia for their Ashes defence. “Myself and the team are very excited,” says the captain Freddie Flintoff. “It’s going to be huge,” he adds, covering the part of the script that says: ‘Ponting batting average’ with his finger.

November 6
Grievous Bodily Harmison is ready to inflict some damage on the Aussies. He’s pumped! He’s psyched! He’s… just admitted he felt sad when he cut Ricky Ponting’s cheek last year. “As a bowler and as a person I was disappointed with myself,” he sobs. “I didn’t realise the extent of the injury until I got back to my mark, and by then it was too late. It was probably the one regret of the whole Ashes series.”

November 7
Four or five? Enough about how many kisses Shane Warne should slip on the end of his texts, England have finally decided how many bowlers to go into the Test series with. “If we were confident of [Freddie Flintoff] getting through a lot of overs, we could probably look at [playing] four [bowlers],” says the coach Duncan Fletcher, deliberately missing out of a load of words in a bid to confuse SPIN. “But with Flintoff not bowling many, we’ve got to go in with five bowlers.” Brilliant.

November 9
Cricket Australia chief executive James Sutherland says he wants spectators to behave during the Ashes. “Action will be taken against anyone who fails to show respect for the people around them,” he said, before budgeting for an empty ground.

November 10
Tour match, Canberra.
Prime Minister’s XI (347/5) beat England (181) by 166 runs
England are trying to win a series in Australia for the first time in 1986-87, so they decide to pay homage to that ‘Can’t bat, can’t bowl, can’t field’ team with a diabolical performance in the tour opener. Saj Mahmood (9-0-97-1) surely bowls himself out of the Test team. England fans get a strange feeling of déjà vu.

November 12
Tour match, Sydney, Day 1
New South Wales 325/5
Having scored a century for the Prime Minister’s XI against England two days ago, Phil Jaques bashes another. He’s knocking on the Australian door. Off the field, Duncan Fletcher announces that Geraint Jones and not Chris Read will keep wicket in the Test team. “We just think that he [Jones] handles the pressure better,” he says, not so much tempting fate as punching it in the mouth and screaming: ‘Let’s ’ave yer!’

November 13
Tour match, Sydney, Day 2
New South Wales 355/9dec, England 256/4
Kevin Pietersen stamps his authority all over the tour with a thrilling unbeaten 80 against an attack of McGrath, Lee, Clark and Bracken. Less palatable is the revelation that Monty Panesar was called “a stupid Indian who can’t speak English” by a fan on the first day. “I don’t think there’s too much racist about that,” says some brainless Neanderthal drong… sorry, says the chief executive of Cricket Australia, James Sutherland.

November 14
Tour match, Sydney, Day 3
England 349; New South Wales 194-6. Match drawn
A stress-related illness strikes Marcus Trescothick for the third time, and puts him out of a Test career for the foreseeable future. The whole of Australia is touchingly and surprisingly sympathetic; even 
Jeff Thomson talks cogently about the insidious dangers of mental illness. No, of course he effing doesn’t. While everyone else 
in Australia treats Trez with 
the respect he deserves, Thommo makes some crass comment about sending the whole of the England squad home with depression.
November 16
Australia present their plan to regain the Ashes: pace… lots of pace. They line up the bovver boys, with six quicks (well, five and Glenn McGrath) in a 13-man squad: Lee, Clark, Watson, Johnson and Tait. England, meanwhile, show their famous consistency of selection by replacing an experienced biffer of an opener, Trescothick, with a callow, middle-order touch player in Ed Joyce, called in from the Academy.

November 17
Tour match, Adelaide, Day 1
South Australia 247/7 dec; England 24/1
Steve Harmison pulls out of the final warm-up match with that dog-ate-my-homework of excuses, the side strain. But at least England pick Monty Panesar ahead of Ashley Giles, which means he’s a cert for the Test team, right? On the field, Darren Lehmann, 68, is run out for 99 after stopping for a mid-pitch fag.

November 18
Tour match, Adelaide, Day 2
England 303/6
Ian Bell (132) and Paul Collingwood (80) play their first significant innings of the tour. Michael Clarke is drafted in for the hamstrung Shane Watson.

November 19
Tour match, 
Adelaide, Day 3
England 415, South Australia 164-2. Match drawn
As the match meanders towards a draw and word spreads that Giles will be picked ahead of Panesar, so Justin Langer turns his attention towards the big one. “I don’t care if Tony Blair or Robbie Williams bowl me the first ball of the Ashes series – all my team-mates and I care about is winning back the Ashes,” he chuckles, killing once and for all the myth that Australians don’t have a sense of humour.

November 21
They’re going to pick Gilo!

November 22
They’re actually going to pick Gilo!!

November 23
First Test, Brisbane, Day 1
Australia 346/3
Any chance we could try that one again? The most eagerly anticipated day in cricket history begins with the ultimate bum note as the new, pacifistic Steve Harmison shows how loath he is to hurt the Aussie batsmen by bowling the first ball of the day to second slip. Andrew Flintoff, playing his first first-class game in six months, is heroism incarnate, the rest a rabble as Ricky Ponting (137*) breezes to a chillingly inevitable century. England pick Gilo.

November 24
First Test, Brisbane, Day 2
Australia 602/9 dec; England 53/3
Australia romp past 600, with Ponting making 196, but no worries, mate: England will pile up the runs on this pitch, right? Wrong. Glenn McGrath scalps the openers with successive balls and, when Paul Collingwood surrenders after a merciless interrogation from the depressingly good new(ish) boy Stuart Clark, England are right in it.
November 25
First Test, Brisbane, Day 3
England 157; Australia 181/1
Cunning stuff from England, who keep the obviously-over-the-hill McGrath in the Australian team for the rest of the series by gifting him four more wickets. McGrath finishes with six for 50 and, unsatisfied with a slender lead of 445, Ricky Ponting decides to bat again. In the absence of locking the squad in a darkened room with Harold Bishop’s voice on loop, it’s hard to think of a more sinister form of mental disintegration.

November 26
First Test, Brisbane, Day 4
Australia 202/1dec; England 293/5
England, as only they can, make a virtue out of an imminent pasting. Chasing 648 after Langer scores Test cricket’s most meaningless century, they restore some pride through Paul Collingwood (96 before being suckered by Warne) and Kevin Pietersen (92). Warne and KP have a comedy contretemps after Warner apparently throws the ball at his chum’s head. But the defining image of the day 
is Australian triumphalism: 
when Freddie carts a Warne long-hop towards long-on, the fielder Justin Langer celebrates even before he’s taken the catch. What’s not to love?

November 27
First Test, Brisbane, Day 5
England 370. Australia win by 277 runs.
Australia need just 20 overs to wrap up business, with the hugely impressive Stuart Clark ending with seven wickets in the match. Still, it’s okay: England got thrashed in the first Test in 2005, and look what happened then!
November 29
One thrashing into the series, coach Fletcher tries some mind games. “I thought it was quite important we played Shane Warne very well,” he says. “We were pretty confident the way we played him there. The only thing is we gave him two soft wickets, and outside of that we played him very, very well and positively, so that was a big positive which came out of there.” Glenn McGrath’s old bones start creaking again; he is doubtful for the second Test with a heel injury. It’s 2005 all over again!

November 30
Warner weighs into the war of words. Of course he does. “Kevin [Pietersen] was the only one to play me well – even though I could have had him out twice,” he says. “Duncan is trying to build up a few players who aren’t convinced and are really worried about me. I thought I had the better of Alastair Cook and Ian Bell and Paul Collingwood. I got Bell out as planned – I set him up for a slider exactly the same way as last year. I am all over Ian Bell and he still can’t pick my straight one. Collingwood is a fighter but he had some luck.”

December 1
Second Test, Adelaide, Day 1
England 266/3
At last: a Good Day for England, even though they pick Giles ahead of Panesar again. The openers fall early on an Adelaide featherbed, but Bell (60), Collingwood (98*) and the increasingly inevitable KP (60*) put England in the box seat. Australians whinge about “turgid cricket”. They’re running scared! We’ve got them where we want them! It’s 2005 all over again!

December 2
Second Test, Adelaide, Day 2
England 551/6 dec, Australia 28/1
The Ginger Bradman, Paul Collingwood (206), hits the first Test double-ton by an Englishman in Oz since Wally Hammond in 1936-37, while KP, before getting yet another attack of the nervous 158s, bats so imperiously that Shane Warne is forced to morph into Ashley Giles, bowling over the wicket and miles wide of leg stump. England declare on 551/6 and claim the wicket of Langer just before the close. Ave it!

December 3
Second Test, Adelaide, Day 3
Australia 312/5
Ricky Ponting scores an Aussie-record 33rd Test century, but most of the runs belong to Ashley Giles, who cements Public Enemy No1 status by dropping a relatively easy chance at deep square leg with Ponting on 35. Cue hundreds of ‘You’ve just dropped the Ashes, Gilo’ quips. “You can’t bring it back – it’s gone,” says Gilo. “I will just spend the next 20 years worrying about it.”

December 4
Second Test, Adelaide, Day 4
Australia 513, England 59/1
Grass grows, paint dries, and the Test meanders towards a draw. Matthew Hoggard takes seven wickets, a heroic performance on a dodo-dead pitch, but Michael Clarke’s anonymous century ends England’s hopes of victory. Warner enlivens the last part of the day by labelling Ian Bell as ‘The Shermanator’, the ginger geek from American Pie.

December 5
Second Test, Adelaide, Day 5
England 129, Australia 168/4. Australia win by six wickets.
Oh no! England go to work expecting a nice quiet day, only for Warne and Brett Lee to catch them unawares. Warne is pure theatre, but the hapless batting of England’s top order (the unlucky Andrew Strauss excepted) would shame Frank Spencer. England eke out 70 runs off 54 overs before their final demise. Australia, set 168, romp to a once-in-a-lifetime victory with 13 overs to spare. “I’m not in the best of moods right now,” says Fred afterwards.
Coach Fletcher, meanwhile, bristles at being asked about Monty/Gilo for the millionth time. “The reason for that, we have said on numerous occasions, is that we want to bat to eight,” he harrumphs. “Look at Australia where Warne had that 100 partnership with Clarke in the first innings. Those runs put the pressure back on to us. We think Ashley can do that better. That’s the reason.”
Got that, everyone?

December 6
Ian Botham asks questions about England’s selection. A lot of people are. “I am asking questions,” Botham thunders. “A lot of people are asking questions. Is Monty Panesar here or has he gone home? I am totally confused. I was confused at the start of the series and I am even more confused now. I am not taking anything away from Australia, they have been magnificent, but we have two players who have hardly played any cricket in a year – Jimmy Anderson and Ashley Giles, two key bowlers.”

December 8
Tour match, Lilac Hill
England 259/8 (50 overs), Cricket Australia Chairman’s XI 260/3. CAC XI win by 7 wickets.
Damien Martyn jumps before he is pushed, retiring from all forms of cricket with immediate effect. Alec Stewart, 43, blasts a 69-ball 69 as England lose a friendly at Lilac Hill. Is SPIN the only one to reckon he could still do a better job than Jones and Read?

December 9
Tour match, Perth, Day 1
Western Australia 309/8
A shadowy, vaguely familiar figure stands at mid-off during England’s tour match at Perth. Is it serial imposter Karl Power? Nope, it’s former/current England captain Michael Vaughan! And he’s not allowed to speak to the press after the day’s play! Monty Panesar runs out the WA No 8 with a direct hit, though. What more can he do?

December 10
Tour match, Perth, Day 2
Western Australia 322/8dec, England 356/5
The smattering of England fans at the WACA give out a huge cheer as No 3 Virgil Vaughan walks to the crease! Except it’s not Vaughan; it’s Jonah Jones. Virgil doesn’t come in at 4, 5, 6 or 7 either as he sits in the stand all day, chatting to his wife and coach Fletcher as England get some batting practice. Strauss (88) and Cook (106) get some much needed runs, but Geraint Jones bags a first-baller and then has to watch Chris Read hammer a fluent 59. The game is a weird, two-day draw.

December 12
England beat Australia! At the WACA! In a Legends Twenty20 game, as a suspiciously unveteran team including Thorpe, Hollioake, Stewart and Malcolm takes on a roster of Aussie fiftysomethings. Graham Thorpe’s classy 72 leads the run chase. Is SPIN the only one to reckon he could still do a job?

December 14
third Test, perth, Day 1
Australia 244; England 51/2
Fletcher and Flintoff finally give in and pick Monty – and guess what? He’s brilliant! He removes Langer in his second over, sends Gilchrist packing for a duck and finishes with 5/92. “It is one of my best days. I was pleased the way the ball came out,” intones the Montster, afterwards. “I trust the selectors’ judgement and I trust whenever they feel it’s right and, thankfully, today they picked me and luckily I got some wickets as well.” Even Tinker Harmison (4/48) finally gets in the groove – and despite losing two late wickets, including Ian Bell off a Lee no-ball – it’s England’s day.

December 15
third Test, perth, Day 2
Australia 119/1
Australia’s day. The ‘non-batsman’ Monty hits an unbeaten 16 in a last wicket stand of 40 with Harmy, but England still blow their chance. Hoggard removes Langer with the first ball of Australia’s second innings – but after that it’s all one-way traffic as Hayden (57*) and Ponting (57*) punish the tourists. Off the park, Ashley Giles flies home to be with his wife who, an ECB spokesman says, has “a potentially serious illness.” Jamie Dalrymple is called up from the Academy in his place.

December 16
third Test, perth, Day 3
Australia 527/5 dec. England 19/1.
You thought that last day at Adelaide was bad? Well, yeah, it was pretty bad – but today is probably worse: England are put 
to the sword in the murderous 50-degree heat at the WACA, with Australia hitting 408 runs off 76 overs before declaring. Hussey (103) and Clarke (135*) get tons but no-one will remember them: not after Gilchrist (102*) hits the second-fastest ton in Test history – off 57 balls – forcing England to put eight men on the boundary.
England are set 557 to win and Strauss 
is given leg-before straight away – another howler from umpire Koertzen. Meanwhile, a view inside the dressing room from KP: “It is becoming increasingly clear that our best is not good enough against this great Aussie side,” he writes in his News of the World column. “I can’t tell you how sombre a place our dressing room is at the moment. Our performances on the pitch have been depressing enough but the news that led to Ashley rushing home has hit us all hard.”
December 17
third Test, perth, Day 4
England 265/5
Cook (116) and Bell (87) put on 170, giving the Aussies reason to look ever so slightly tetchy – and England fans to feel at least vaguely hopeful, at least for the next Ashes series in 2009. But Cook is out in sight of close and when nightwatchman Hoggard comes and goes in a blink, the Aussies suddenly have their foot back on England’s throat. England still need 292 to win.

December 18
third Test, perth, Day 5
England 350 all out. Australia win by 206 runs.
Flintoff’s feisty, even-time 51, including a six off Brett Lee, puts the wind up the Aussies during the first hour. But once Fred goes, the last five wickets fall for 14 runs in eight overs, as the tail perform a traditional collapse, aided by KP taking a single off the first ball of the over whenever he can. Jonah Jones picks up a pair. Two balls after lunch, Warne bowls Panesar to wrap up victory by 206 runs. Literally dozens of Aussie fans are there to see it. Punter Ponting says the Ashes aren’t enough – now the Aussies want a whitewash: “I won’t be happy if we lose a Test match from here and I’m sure the other players are in exactly the same boat.”
“Three-nil down having lost the Ashes, it’s not a great feeling,” says a teary Freddie. “It hurts. I’m not quite sure I can describe it, I’m looking for words.”

December 19
Duncan Fletcher sidesteps talk of his being sacked/resigning. “From our point of view the people who are criticising now are the ones who run with the fox and hunt with the hounds,” he moots. “All we can do is run with the fox. We are the ones who make these very difficult decisions.” He’s not the only one to blame for the fiasco, he says: “There’s blame on all of us. Everyone’s got to be blamed, on how we performed and how we selected.”

December 20
England fans may have been wondering why Saj Mahmood was picked for the third Test. Well – so has he! “There were times during Australia’s second innings when I began to question what I was doing on the pitch,” he reveals, after bowling just 17 overs in the match. “I had to wonder whether I had been selected as a bowler. I’m sure Freddie had his reasons for keeping me out of the attack for such long periods, but I was a bit surprised.”

December 21
Shane Warne surprises everyone by announcing that he will retire at the end of the current series. He says he would have quit had Australia won in 2005 – and played on until 2009 if they’d lost this time. “To go out in Melbourne in front of 100,000 people in my backyard and hopefully get 700 wickets, will be superb,” says Warner. With brilliant timing,Tinker Harmison announces his own retirement from one-day cricket, after being left out of the England squad for the CB Series. The party sees yet another reshuffle of England’s limited ODI resources, including the return of Michael Vaughan (“subject to fitness”).
Monty gets his first ODI call-up. “We view his selection as a bold, attacking move which will strengthen our ability to take wickets,” says chief arranger of the deckchairs on England’s ODI Titanic David Graveney, only five weeks too late.
In a stroke of PR genius, possibly designed to end speculation over the future of the captaincy, no captain is named.

December 22
Four days ahead of the Boxing Day Test, and with Fred wondering how to rouse the troops in the face of a humiliating whitewash, another stroke of off-field genius from England. They let Michael Vaughan do a press conference! So he can ponder publicly his chances of replacing Freddie! Brilliant. “The England captaincy is one of the best jobs in the world, and if it was made available I’d love to do it again,” muses Virgil, helpfully. In his three ultra lowkey comeback games Virgil has scored 0, 9 and 14. Tempting to say that’s not exactly England form. Then again…

December 23
Glenn McGrath becomes the third Aussie player to quit during the series, as he announces that he will retire after the World Cup. “It’s a tough decision because I still love playing. The body feels great and I couldn’t be happier with the way I’m bowling so everything’s exactly where I want it to be,” he said. “But on the other side, it’s an easy decision because of everything else that goes with it…the training, the travel, the time away from home.” Meanwhile Punter Ponting presents each of his team-mates with a $2000 watch to commemorate their series victory.
December 25
Does Punter Ponting have a little Christmas pressie for England, too? Having looked at the grassy MCG pitch for the fourth Test, he’s contemplating the unthinkable. “We’re actually considering playing the four quicks and leaving Warney out of this game,” he quips. As if. Freddie, resisting (just) the urge to shout ‘Help me! Someone! Please!’, urges Virgil to take the reins again quick-sharp. “We all want him back as soon as possible. The sooner he is back, the better. I’ve been doing this in his absence, so as soon as Michael’s fit we’ll see what happens.” England have their team Christmas lunch. Five of the team don’t come.

December 26
Fourth Test, Melbourne, day 1
England 159 all out; Australia 48/2
Shane Warne gets a standing ovation from the 89,000 crowd as he steps onto his home park for the first time, leading the Aussies onto the field with 699 Test wickets to his name. 6,000 people with tickets don’t show up. England stick to the script and, after winning the toss and batting, contrive to gift Warne 5/39 on a first day pitch. Warne’s 700th wicket is a slow-motion ball that is apparently too quick for Strauss – who has batted 47 overs for his 50. Hoggard twice traps Hayden plumb lbw but umpire Koertzen turns them both down. England look down the barrel. Again.

December 27
Australia 372/7
Same old story – at 84/5, England have Australia on the ropes. If only Symonds (154*) and Big Fish Hayden (153) hadn’t then put on 279 for the sixth wicket… Symonds survives a plumb lbw appeal on 52 and goes on to hit his first-ever Test ton; Hayden hits his 27th. At close of play, Matthew Hoggard suggests England get in Inspector Morse, Miss Marple and Sherlock Holmes. Not to shore up the hapless attack, but to investigate the leaking of England’s bowling plans, aka ‘The longest suicide note in history’, to ABC radio. The plans don’t say, “1) Try bowling at the three wooden things 2) Stop looking so scared and depressed.” But maybe they should. Hoggard is asked if England should try and steal Australia’s bowling plans. “It wouldn’t do us any good!”he says.

December 28
Australia 419. England 161 all out. Australia win by an innings and 99.
England slump to defeat within three days and are facing the first Ashes whitewash in 85 years. A possibly reluctant KP comes in at four with a face like thunder and departs for 1 eight balls later. Mahmood picks up a pair, confirming No 8 as a problem position (as well as Nos 1-7). Freddie fronts up again, looking even more shell-shocked with every press conference. “It’s been a tough trip, another tough three days,” he says.“I’m disappointed, upset… the emotions are all negative but we’ve got one game left. We don’t want to leave this country having been beaten 5-0. “As bad as I feel now, come the game in Sydney we have to go out there and put on a show.”

December 29
Are we downhearted, gang? No! Well, so says Freddie, anyway: “There is still a lot of character and pride in the side and it’s not nice when that’s questioned. Within our dressing room is a great spirit and that’s been there for a long time now and it’s not been dented.” Meanwhile, Oz coach Buch Buchanan figures that if 4/0 isn’t enough to put England’s morale at rock-bottom, maybe some of those mind games will do the trick. KP? “He certainly talks of himself as a team player. I personally don’t see any evidence of that but I’m not in their dressing room. In the field he seems distanced from the group; he spends a lot of time on the boundary.”

December 30
KP won’t rise to baiting as obvious as that, will he? Of course he will! “Buchanan’s comments are just ridiculous,” he whispers, menacingly. “I don’t really see a case or a cause for getting into a slanging match with the coach of Australia. He’s retiring after the World Cup and that’s probably good for Australia and good for the game.” And, while you’re here, fellas, there’s another thing. He really does want to bat at 4. No, really he does: “It has been playing on my mind for a while,” says KP. “I have been asked where I felt comfortable and happy, and five was where I did. Once I felt comfortable in my head about four, I said 
‘I can give it a go now.’” Alright?

December 31
Justin Langer announces that the New Year’s Test will be his last. “I feel sad about it but I know in my heart it’s the right thing to do,” he says. But will the New Year’s Test will be Jamie Dalrymple’s first? Most English pundits reckon so. Even Freddie hints that he’s in line. Dalrymple who, naturally, hasn’t played a first-class match since August 8, declares himself “desperate” to play. The England team spends New Year on two separate boats in Sydney Harbour.

January 2
Fifth test, sydney, day 1
England 234/4
Matthew Hoggard has a side strain, so England, on a turning pitch and with a well-documented love of bowlers-who-bat, bring in… not Jamie Dalrymple, after all, but Jimmy Anderson, as coach Fletcher waves his no-longer-secret masterplan at the media, shouting: “Alright – let’s do it your way.” England go into the game with four No 11s. Mahmood not a No 11, you say? Well, let’s see how it goes, eh? England win the toss, bat, do alright. Langer, fighting back the tears by all accounts (well, by coach Buchanan’s account) drops everything that comes his way.
January 3
Fifth test, sydney, day 2
England 291. Australia 188/4
England lose six wickets in 23 overs, as the tail shows slightly more resilience than everyone expected. Kidding. Read (2) and Mahmood (0 – his third duck in a row) are rolled over by Brett Lee, as the last five batsmen muster four runs between them. Flintoff (89) is ninth out, in sight of a ton, after shepherding the tail (That’s how it’s done, then). It’s a great, return-to-form innings, a belated throwback to 2005. A brilliant direct hit from Jimmy A runs out Punter – and the game appears to be in the balance.

January 4
Fifth test, Sydney, day 3
Australia 393. England 114/5
Jimmy gets Hussey with the second ball of the day! England are still 100 ahead, with Australia five-down! Soon after, naturally, England are 100 behind, as a demob happy Warner starts to enjoy himself. He whacks a top-scoring 71 off 65 balls, partly fired, he says later, by some sledging from Collingwood. Warne responds with some sledging gold, calling Colly’s MBE a “disgrace”. England bat. And fold. Again. Cook, Bell and Collingwood give it away, Strauss gets hit on the head by Lee, Freddie is out within sight of close. Monty comes in at No 7. No-one knows if he’s nightwatchman or if he has, finally, been deemed least bad of England’s five-man tail. England need a miracle now, even to avoid the whitewash. No-one thinks this will happen.

January 5
Fifth test, Sydney, day 4
England 147. Australia 46/0. Australia win by 10 wickets.
England’s tail folds. No, seriously. Read’s calling Monty for a suicide single to Symonds, one of the world’s best fielders, pretty much sums it up. Mahmood gets 4. Harmy manages to hit an unbeaten 16 before running out of partners. Maybe he should be promoted to No 4 next time. If there is a next time. England greet Langer with a guard of honour. Harmy storms in, looking the part, just in time for the Aussies to wrap up the whitewash – the first Ashes clean-sweep since 1921.
Afterwards, Freddie makes a speech: “We’ve tried our guts out on this tour. But it hasn’t been enough as we’ve come up against an Australian side who are at the top of their game,” he says.
The Aussies end the day in tears: Hayden cries, Langer weeps, even Punter says he’s fighting them back, as he scoops the man of the series award. Punt pays tribute to Warne, McGrath, Langer – and his old pal Damien Martyn, adding: “This has been 
the best five or six weeks of my life.”