England No. 1; India No. 2

It would be an understatement to say that the crown of best Test team has passed from India to England.

The crown didn’t pass, it was seized. And England didn’t just seize it. They seized it and then used it to beat India to a bloodied pulp. Then they stood over the carcass and took photos while wearing their new crown at a jaunty angle.

The margin of defeat – an innings and 242 runs – does not deceive. India were murdered in this game. And not just murdered. England murdered them and danced round their grave singing comic songs in a raucous voice.

A dispirited India, ground into the blameless Edgbaston turf by the relentless glacier that is Alastair Cook, were torn apart by the skill of James Anderson. Anderson, gaining life and movement that had been absent when India bowled, claimed the first four wickets to fall in the final innings and has now overtaken both Andrew Caddick and Sir Alec Bedser in list of England bowlers with the most Test wickets.

Where do India go from here? As a Test team, their future is bleak. Most of their best players are far nearer the end than the start of their careers and the priority of the BCCI remains the money-spinning limited-overs game.

It seems the BBCI are emerging as the villains of the piece, but that may not be fair. After all, the IPL was set-up partially to negate the ‘rebel’ ICL. All the Indian board have done is try to meet the insatiable desire for players to earn more. The ECB fell victim to a similar problem with the Stanford event.

In the long-term, Indian players will need to work hard to have any hope of retaining their No. 1 status. They’ll have to be fitter and stronger. They’ll have to play county cricket to experience differing conditions and they’ll have to accept that many of them are hopeless against the short ball. While they remain in denial, they’ll never improve.

They’d be fools to hide behind an injury to Zaheer Khan. England were missing Chris Tremlett, too. These things happen. Instead, they should examine why Zaheer reported for a tour so out of shape and they should reflect on why their bowling resources are so limited.

That Praveen Kumar has been their best player so far tells as much about his tremendous heart as it does about the underachievement of the rest of the team. Kumar is a worthy but limited cricketer making the best of himself; his colleagues – Dravid excepted – are complacent superstars who have become too posh to push. Literally and metaphorically they have grown fat on their success. It remains to be seen whether they have the hunger to regain the top spot.

It’s worth remembering, too, that the first two World Test Championships are to be played in England. It’s hard to see how India can win.

Is there a better bowler than Anderson in world cricket? Probably not. Where once Anderson was a bully in helpful conditions and a liability in others, he’s now a superb on any surface. The ability to move the ball both ways in the air and off the pitch is precious in itself, but allied to Anderson’s accuracy and control and England have a special bowler.

Certainly Gambhir, who prodded Anderson’s first ball of the day to slip, and Laxman, who edged a beauty that left him, were the victim of a fine deliveries.

But perhaps India were also unfortunate. Sachin Tendulkar, batting with an ease that none of his colleagues could match, was run out backing up as Graeme Swann, in his follow through, got just a finger on MS Dhoni’s firm, straight drive. Then Dravid was victim of a poor umpiring decision. He was adjudged caught behind, though replays suggest he hit only his shoelaces. India’s failure to request a review, however, was inexplicable.

Dhoni and Kumar showed some belated heart with a furious counter-attack, but the game was long-since over as a contest. The pair thrashed 75 in seven-and-a-half overs – Swann was slogged for 55 from his last four overs – but even that came at a cost. Kumar sustained a horrid blow to the thumb off Anderson and must be rated as doubtful for the final Test. Sreesanth also sustained a blow to the hand.

The manner in which victory was sealed spoke volumes. Sreesanth, jerking out of the way of a short ball, fenced a catch off the shoulder of the bat to gully. India, battered, bruised and embarrassed had been blown away.

There are, of course, other hurdles to clear before England can claim to categorically be the best Test team in the world. They need to defeat India in India and they need to defeat a South Africa side that, with Imran Tahir involved, at last look to have strength and balance. Both opportunities present themselves in the next year.

England have already proved themselves an excellent side however. People may mutter about the strength of the opposition but that’s not totally fair. Australia had never been beaten by an innings margin three times in a series until the last Ashes series and India – with one of the strongest Test top fives in history – have not lost a series since 2008. England have made both sides look ordinary. It’s not coincidence. England really are very good.

England extra generous to a fault

Cook leads the way for England

Alastair Cook 10/10
766 runs at 127.66

A magnificent series. By the end of last summer, Cook was clinging on to his place in the England side and, by his own admission, “couldn’t hit a beach ball.” He averaged just 26 in previous Ashes encounters and his troubles outside the off-stump had the Australian bowlers salivating in anticipation. His career appeared to be in the balance.

It’s not any more. Cook batted for more than 36 hours in the series – no Englishman has ever spent longer at the crease in a Test series – and scored an eye-watering 766 runs. Only Wally Hammond and Don Bradman have scored more in an Ashes series. He fully deserved his man of the series award.

How did he do it? He left the ball outside the off stump and waited for the bowlers to stray into his areas. Then he cut, pulled and flicked to his heart’s content. And, as his confidence grew, he even unveiled a surprisingly elegant cover drives. Aged just 26, he’s already scored over 5,000 Test runs and recorded 16 Test centuries: he’s going to break every English Test batting record in existence.

Credit, too, for the selectors who stuck with him and the coaches who worked with him. Their judgement and faith has been fully vindicated.

Andrew Strauss 8/10
307 runs at 43.85

A sound, if unspectacular, series with the bat. Bouncing back from his first over dismissal at Brisbane, he settled England’s nerves with their first century of the series in the second innings. He passed 50 three more times in the series, often helping his side steal the initiative, but failing to go on.

His greatest contribution, however, remains the captaincy. While he’s somewhat conservative on the pitch, his admirable calm head ans sensible disposition helped England regroup after a shaky start at Brisbane and the debacle of Perth. He’s now one of just three man (Hutton and Brearley are the others) to have led England to Ashes success home and away. There’s little reason to think he can’t go further and lead England to World Cup success and the top of the Test rankings.

Jonathan Trott 9/10
445 runs at 89

You have to go back a long, long time to find a better England No. 3 than Trott. His sound technique, calm head and relentless hunger for runs have created a wonderfully consistent Test batsman who is equally proficient coming in at 0-1 or 200-1. And he seems to love batting against Australia: before his duck in Sydney he averaged more than 100 in the Ashes. Don’t forget that run-out of Katich at Adelaide, either. Trott was superb and has now answered every question about his technique and temperament.

Kevin Pietersen 7/10
360 runs at 60
1 wicket at 16

A somewhat perplexing series. Magnificent at Adelaide – he scored a match-winning double-century and took a crucial wicket – he only passed 50 once more in the series. For a player with as much talent as Pietersen, that’s slightly disappointing. Some of his off-field comments – such as the swipe at Peter Moores – hardly helped team unity, either. Even if there was more than a grain of truth in them.

Paul Collingwood 3.5/10
82 runs at 13.83
2 wickets at 36.50

He took several wonderful catches and a couple of useful wickets but, from a personal perspective, this was a bitterly disappointing series from Collingwood. He rarely looked comfortable at the crease and, while all his colleagues flourished, often looked as if he were struggling to cope with the pace of the Australian bowlers. His retirement was inevitable. It was the right decision, too. For all his determination and all his positive contributions behind the scenes, it’s runs that define a batsman’s worth and Collingwood simply hasn’t scored enough.

Ian Bell 8/10
329 runs at 65.80

If there were still doubters before this series, they are surely silenced now. No-one on either side timed the ball as sweetly as Bell and his century at Sydney, an innings that ensured his side of a series win, was the coming of age of a man who has promised much for a long time. Batting at least one place too low, he was often obliged to sacrifice his wicket in the search for quick runs and the feeling persists that, with more opportunity, Bell might have gained many of the plaudits that have gone to Cook. It is surely telling that, in the first innings at Brisbane and Perth, with all his colleagues struggling, Bell top scored. The next few years promise much.

Matt Prior 7/10
252 runs at 50.40
23 catches

A much improved ‘keeper, Prior was very good against the fast bowlers and, the odd indiscretion apart, reliable against the spinners. His six catches in an innings at Melbourne equalled an Ashes record and he finished with an admirable 23 victims. With the bat, he improved after a shaky start (he was part of Siddle’s hat-trick in Brisbane) and scored a maiden Ashes century at Sydney. To underline the selfless nature of his play, it was the fastest Ashes century by an Englishman since Ian Botham in 1981.

Stuart Broad 3/10
0 runs at 0
2 wickets at 80.50

A bitterly disappointing series. A muscle tear forced Broad out of the series after the second Test, by which time he’d claimed just two wickets and suffered a first ball dismissal. He had bowled somewhat better than the figures suggested, however, conceding just 2.3 runs an over and ensuring his captain a measure of control in the field. The pitch at Perth would surely have suited him ideally bit, with Tremlett, Finn and Bresnan now all pressing for inclusion, Broad can no longer consider himself an automatic selection.

Graeme Swann 6/10
88 runs at 22
15 wickets at 39.80

It was presumed before the series that if England were to win, Swann would need to enjoy a big series. It didn’t turn out that way. Swann failed to find much help from the Australian pitches and found Hussey one of the toughest opponents of his Test career to date. Swann didn’t always look comfortable against Australia’s quick bowling, either. Still, when conditions suited, at Adelaide, he played his part with a five-wicket haul that helped his side to victory, while his excellent bowling at Melbourne went largely unrewarded. He remained cheerful on and off the pitch, too, and certainly contributed to the relaxed and happy mood in the England camp.

Chris Tremlett 9/10
19 runs at 6.33
17 wickets at 23.35

A breakthrough series. Seemingly in the cricketing wilderness just 12-months ago, Tremlett build on his excellent season in county cricket with a performance that announced him as one of the most fearsome fast bowlers in world cricket. Casting off his reputation as injury prone and small hearted, Tremlett bowled with pace, bounce, hostility and skill. In such form, he is as fearsome as fast bowler as any in the world.

Tim Bresnan 8/10
39 runs at 19.50
11 wickets at 19.54

Called into the side for the final two Tests, Bresnan responded with two highly impressive performances. Maintaining an excellent, nagging line and length, Bresnan gained movement in the air and off the pitch and generated surprising pace. While the highlight may have been the superb spell in Melbourne that accounted for Ponting, Hussey and Watson within 18 balls at the cost of just two runs, his batting at Sydney will also have reminded the selectors of his all-round ability.

James Anderson 9/10
22 runs at 4.40
26 wickets at 26.04

The series that established Anderson’s reputation as one of England’s finest post-war bowlers. Answering all the questions, Anderson swung the new ball conventionally, reversed the old ball, gained movement off the seam and, throughout, maintained excellent control and a wonderfully probing line and length. There are very few better fast bowlers in world cricket.

Steve Finn 7/10
3 runs at 3
14 wickets at 33.14

Started the series well, with six wickets in an innings at Brisbane and a brave performance in Adelaide. But he seemed to tire in Perth and paid the price for conceding more than four an over by losing his place for the final two Tests. It was a brave decision from the selectors, however, as, at the time, Finn was England’s leading wicket-taker in the series. Aged only 21, Finn remains one for the future.

Tremlett answers critics as England take control

England exorcise demons with emphatic win

Anderson swings England into control

Pakistan sink to new low

Were this series a boxing bout, the referee would have stopped it by now. Had it been a horse race, Pakistan would have fallen at the first. And had it been anything to do with swimming, Pakistan would surely have drowned.
As it is, just one day into the second Test of a four-match series, and Pakistan are being embarrassed. Less than a week after registering their lowest Test score against England (80 at Trent Bridge), they set a grim new record: bowled out in under 40 overs for just 72.

There are some mitigating factors. Pakistan are in a rebuilding phase and their young batsmen – four of their top seven can muster just 15 Tests between them – have precious little experience in such bowler friendly conditions.

Nor can the last 12-months have been easy. The team has been torn apart by off-field issues and the lack of stability – and the flooding – in their homeland can hardly have helped.

England’s bowlers deserve credit, too. In these conditions, Jimmy Anderson is a masterful performer and the movement he gained here – at will and in both directions – would have tested any batsmen. Stuart Broad has also made huge strides this summer and produced a performance of maturity and skill. Instead of straining for pace, both men were content to allow the conditions to help them and remain patient. It wasn’t as if Pakistan’s batsmen made them wait for long.

And that’s the problem. For though Pakistan do have some reasons to feel hard done-by, a total of 72 is hardly excusable. Particularly after winning the toss.

Their batsmen lacked application and technique. Despite having arrived in England over a month ago, they are still pushing, prodding and thrashing at the moving ball as if they are on subcontinent pitches. This contest resembles amateurs against professionals.

Farhat and Butt were both drawn into pushing at deliveries angled across them, Shoaib Malik was brilliantly caught by the impressive Matt Prior after driving at a fine outswinger, before Azhar Ali, petrified at pushing at an outswinger, was trapped by one that nipped back. Umar Akmal was punished for not moving his feet and pinned in front, while Zulqarnain Haider looked out of his depth as he edged a good length ball. Umar Amin flashed optimistically and was well caught at third slip.

There can be few excuses for their fielding, either. They missed between four or five chances (depending on how harshly you want to judge them) in the 34.2 overs of England’s reply, providing their deserving bowlers with very little chance of clawing their way back into the game. Imran Farhat’s drop at first slip, off Mo Asif, when Jonathan Trott had just eight, was a shocker and suffice it to say that the performance of debutant Zulqarnain Haider, who followed his first ball dismissal with an untidy display behind the stumps, suggests the search for a reliable wicket-keeper goes on.

Where do Pakistan go from here? There aren’t any quick fixes. So they have to show patience with this group of players. They have shown they have ability – it is, remember, only a couple of Tests since they defeated Australia – and they will improve. Perhaps the likes of Mohammad Yousuf might add steel to the middle-order, but it’s asking a great deal for a man who hasn’t played cricket for months to come into this side and precipitate an immediate improvement. He’s not an alchemist.

Besides, England have a few concerns of their own. Alastair Cook, who was fooled by a slower ball bouncer and miscued a pull to slip, looks horribly uncomfortable with anything on or outside off stump – which is quite a problem for an opening batsmen – while Kevin Pietersen is pushing for the ball without confidence. He has been dropped twice already. Andrew Strauss edged a good one that swung back at him sharply.

On a larger scale, the ECB must be concerned about the attendance at Edgbaston. After the debacle of Leeds, where Pakistan supporters stayed away in their droves, just 10,000 attended the first day here. A similar number are expected on the second day, but much fewer from there on. It means Warwickshire will fall somewhere below budget (they were anticipating sales of around 45,000 over the course of the game).

It would nice to think that lessons might be learned. Ticket prices here (£60 for adults and between £10 and £20 for under-16s) are patently too high and Pakistan supporters were again very thin on the ground.  But, with the whole of the English game desperately scrabbling for every last pound in order to pay-off their eye-watering debts, it will take a major re-think before anything changes.

The ECB are currently close to securing the right to host next year’s Pakistan v India series; it is to be hoped Indian supporters show more interest in the fortunes of their Test side.

Best of SPIN: ‘Viv Richards, Jimmy Anderson, Chris Cairns and me’

First published in the November 2006 issue of SPIN magazine.

“In cricket, it’s a short trip from  the penthouse to the outhouse.” 

If Chris Cairns has forgotten what he once told a Kiwi journalist about the tightrope walk that is his day-job,  never has the adage seemed more apt than in a Pennine pea-souper on the first Sunday of September. 

The Spinmobile draws up to Bacup cricket club a few minutes before Cairns’ rented black Astra. He’s greeted by a scene so bleak that the best New Zealand cricketer of his generation could be forgiven for thinking that he’s turning out for Ken Loach, not Lancashire League side Bacup. He splashes across the overgrown outfield and stops a foot from what he assumes to be the wicket for today’s fixture against Colne. He stands, arms folded, head shaking in disbelief. So this’ll be the outhouse. 

Cairns isn’t the first big fish to get wet in cricket’s most homespun and romanticised goldfish bowl, the Lancashire League. When the 35-year-old was unveiled as Bacup’s new pro last December, most agreed that he was the League’s highest profile recruit since Alan Donald steamed in for Rishton in 1996. Eighty-seven wickets and 886 runs later, the veteran of 62 Tests and 215 one-day internationals is within three games of inspiring his team-mates to their fourth league title in seven years. This while admitting that “it’s been hard work on these wet wickets… even to stand up at times.” 

If Cairns was mystified at first, then so are we now. Like most other cricket fans,  we know that the Lancashire League has exerted a Packer-like pull on the sport’s top names since the end of World War I; Donald might just make it into an all-time Lancs League pace quartet, shoehorned in between Andy Roberts, Michael Holding and Dennis Lillee; Cairns, on the other hand, would be carrying the drinks as Kapil Dev performs the all-rounder’s duties. Plenty of international stars – South Africa’s Jacques Rudolph, say, who hit five straight tons for Lowerhouse in 2002 or Michael Bevan, who spent two years at Rawtenstall in the early’90s – would not even make the squad. Viv Richards might sneak in, though. So there must be something strange at work here, besides the come-hither scent of meat pie wafting out of the clubhouse at a quarter-past-eleven. There are also limits to how much cricketer money can buy. And to how much can be raised by the 14 member-run clubs which founded the League in 1892 and still compete today. 

It’s in search of this mysterious allure that we’ve come to Bacup on what promises to be a crucial Sunday in the 2006 title race. By tonight, Bacup could be sitting on an unassailable lead at the top of the table.  

Or they could have been overhauled by one of the four other teams still in contention – Ramsbottom, Lowerhouse, Burnley or Nelson. 

With the match due to start in two hours– and the drizzle setting in – Cairns repairs to the members’ bar for a greasy spoon and romping love-rats in the tabloids. Around him, team-mates peer dolefully across the outfield or into mugs of milky brew.  In the kitchen, the four tea-ladies whip up butties for the troops. 

Bacup’s club captain, John Chapman tells us that they all live for Sunday. Cairns apart, the team all live within a couple miles of the ground or work in Bacup. Many have played for the club at every level – at under 11s, under 13s, under 15s and under 17s, before graduating to one of the three senior XIs. “You get to work on a Monday and you’re still on a high from Sunday, then you practice Tuesday and Thursday and, before you know it, it’s the weekend again,” Chapman, a local textile company manager, effuses. In his time at Bacup, he’s played alongside Roger Harper and ex-Aussie Test players Shaun Young and Adam Dale – not to mention against Donald, Shane Warne, Steve Waugh and Viv Richards – but claims he knew Cairns was special from the day the local press showed up for the pre-season photo op in spring.

 “They wanted a photo of him at the front and all the boys at the back, and Chris said ‘It’s not one plus ten, it’s a golden opportunity to edge closer to the League title. News has reached the ground that every other fixture bar Burnley’s clash with Todmorden has been called off, so Lowerhouse, Nelson and Ramsbotton pick up just three points each. Another shower sends Bacup scampering for the covers, but stops in time for Colne’s openers to take guard a few minutes inside the cut-off point. 

From where we’re standing, it’s bloody cold, bloody wet, and bloody miserable. For some strange reason, though, a drenched Colin Shaw, the Bacup club chairman, isbeaming at us. “So ’ow d’you like this for an 

introduction to’t League, lads, eh?”. While Chris Cairns is bullying the Colne top-order off ten paces at Bacup, 22-year-old Trinidadian Lendl Simmons, playing for Todmorden against Burnley, is the other face of the Lancashire League overseas pro. 

The cousin and doppelganger of former West Indies Test opener Phil Simmons, Lendl has been at Todmorden three weeks. He is the club’s fifth pro this year after the South Africans Morne Van Wyck and Jacques Rudolph – both called away on international duty, Rudolph after just 11 days in town – and Pakistanis Naved Ashraf and Imran Tahir, who played just one game each . 

It often goes like this, says Jeff Rudderforth, Todmorden’s director of cricket. With Test and ODI fixtures mushrooming across the calendar, gone are the days when the stars of the global game would descend on the Pennines in March and stay ’til September.  

We contact agent, and ex-Pakistan Test player, Nadeem Abassi to find out more about the supply line of pros to the League. He reels off a few clients: “Mohammed Ashraful, Mohammed Asif, Yasir Arafat,  Mohammed Sami… they big enough for ya?” He explains how, when one league  season ends, he sends the CVs of players willing to play the next summer around the League clubs. “The clubs don’t need to see videos or DVDs – they can see all the career stats on the internet,” he notes. 

Usually the clubs offer air fare, car, salary, lodgings – plus an escape from the 40° temperatures of the subcontinent. When Pakistan coach Bob Woolmer deemed Taufeeq Umar and his fellow opener Salman Butt surplus to the touring team’s requirements after the third Test this summer, “there was some interest in Taufeeq from league clubs, but he wasn’t originally that keen,” says Abassi. “But, just after I dropped them off at the airport for their flight back to Pakistan, I got a call from Monton in the Central Lancashire League offering Tufeeq good money. I called him 

and told him to get out of the airport right now. He’d checked in but, unlike Salman, hadn’t gone through immigration. I’d got him just in time.  Taufeeq went up to Monton…  and Salman’s probably still looking for him.” 

Colin Shaw admits that, similarly, it was more by luck than judgement that Bacup secured Cairns for an entire season. When  an agent called hawking several of the New Zealand Test team last autumn, Shaw pointed out that the Kiwis would be touring for much of the ’06 summer, but enquired about Cairns. He knew the big all-rounder had bowed out of Test match cricket in 2004 and that he still had close ties in England from his time with Notts. It was good news: 

Cairns was planning to spend the summer in England looking after business interests, but might fancy turning his arm over. Shaw made Cairns an offer, they tweaked some things, and pretty soon they had a deal. 

While Cairns is thought to be pocketing around £20,000 for his five-and-a-half months in Lancashire, it’s fair to say that,  at Todmorden, Lendl Simmons is earning more in experience than he is in cash. 

He tells us that, boosted by some big knocks for the Windies “A” team this summer, he is targeting a place in the Test team in England next summer. Playing here, on the slowest, wettest pitches he’s ever encountered, should stand him in good stead. Before falling for 16 today, he’d hit 65 and 74 in his two previous outings for ‘Tod’. 

Lendl says he’s relished the pressure of being his team’s talisman but finds other aspects of the League less enjoyable. He’s housed in a tiny flat behind the scorer’s  hut and tackles the boredom by watching DVDs and doing 300 sit-ups a day. Having seen what he calls some “shocking indiscipline” from local players, he’s also peeved by the suggestion – recently espoused by Mike Atherton – that the flow of West Indian players into the Lancashire League has dried up because clubs consider them too volatile.“That’s rubbish,” he says. “West Indians are very emotional about their cricket, but most of the time if they’re sulking it’s because they care… It’s the players from round here whose swearing is terrible.Last week, a guy on the other team was given out and he started screaming at the  umpire, telling him he was f****** this and a f****** that. I couldn’t believe it.” 

For many players and spectators, the combustible nature of League matches  is part of their allure. South Africans and Australians, in particular, tend to revel in the intense, century-old rivals between clubs and the weekly shoot-out with the opposing pro. “The Aussies love it – the drinking, the swearing, giving it some stick,” Colin Shaw confirms. 

It’s a while since the Lancashire League saw anything like Zimbabwean Mark Vermuelen’s Cantona moment in the neighbouring Central Lancs League in September, but John Chapman admits that sledging is as much part of League culture as  after-match ales. He has fond memories of one round of verbals with ex-Rishton pro Steve Elworthy a few seasons back. At the time, the South African paceman was rumoured to be on the brink of his first  call-up to the Springbok national team. 

Chapman takes up the story: “So Elworthy comes in to bat and one of our quicks, John Nuttall is bowling. He drives at the first ball and completely misses. Second ball, same thing. I shout out, “Ooh, John, that were  

a cracker, that were: it swung in then left him.” Elworthy turns around, not ’appy, and says. “Look, mate, if he could do that he’d be playing for England, not Bacup.” So the next ball, he nicks it, I catch him behind and I tell Elworthy, “If you moved your bloody feet, you might end up playing for your bloody country.” And he goes, “I’ll have you when 

you come in to bat.

 “I don’t usually wear a helmet to bat, but that day I did and it was  a good job, because he were after me…” 

Chapman’s postscript could be a riff for the 114-year history of the League: “Sure enough, he got me in the end, but we had a drink after the game and he were superb.” 

For an international cricket magazine, you’d think the highlight of our weekend would be an exclusive chat to England’s Jimmy Anderson, shortly after Burnley have seen off Todmorden by eight wickets. 

Judge for yourselves.  

SPIN: “Jimmy, does it ever occur to you, when you come back to play in the League, that you might never have been discovered by Lancashire and that you could still be playing for Burnley now?” 

Anderson: (long pause): “Er, no, not really.” 

In fairness to the former Future of English Cricket, he does offer some insight; he tells us that, on the two recent occasions when he’s turned out for his old home club, he’s felt a huge burden of expectancy, despite appearing only as a fielder and  a batsman. “It’s like everyone expects me  to do something special,” he puffs. 

Back at Bacup, the banter is flowing faster than the runs off the Colne bats as news of Anderson’s inclusion in the Burnley side crackles through via BBC Radio Lancashire. The benefit to Queen and Country of the Burnley Express honing  his match fitness by playing piano in the League appears lost on the Bacup faithful.  

“I feel sorry for t’ bloody lad whose place he’s taken,” pipes up one member from under his flat cap. “Anderson? He’s no ruddy good, anyway,” ventures his friend. They’re off-the-cuff remarks but they tell us a lot about where League fans’ cricketing loyalties lie. Most of Bacup’s 300-odd members will rarely – if ever – make the 20-mile journey to Old Trafford to watch Lancashire play a higher standard of cricket. Peter Mulderrig, a Bacup follower, tells me why: “I was a member of Lancashire for a long time, but they’re so aloof, I couldn’t be bothered any more. And this is paradise, isn’t it? A fantastic view, as close as you can get to the action, friendly faces, some of the best pros in the world…” 

His feelings about Lancashire don’t preclude him from airing some forthright views on his county’s current plight: “’Ere y’are, I’ll give a quote: Mike Watkinson has been coach of Lancashire for nine years – NINE bloody years and they haven’t won  a thing! And now they’ve renewed his contract. ‘Ow can that bloody ’appen, eh?!”

We’re left mulling this over as, out in the middle, Colne chip and charge their way to a competitive total of 144-6 off their reduced allocation of 27 overs. Cairns has bowled through for figures of one for 49 off 14. He’s so miffed at one wide call in his final over that he’s still grilling the guilty umpire minutes after the Colne innings has ended. 

The weather’s perked up and spectators now form a broken ring around the boundary rope. A large chunk of the Rawtenstall team has decided that their wash-out is the perfect excuse to catch up with Bacup’s title push over a few jars. Colin Shaw says that crowds here sometimes top 500. Income from gate receipts and membership fees is supplemented by what they take at the bar and in the new function room. “They do a cracking funeral,” one elderly member assures us. 

Anyone who’s paid the £3.50 entry fee today will see a real cracker. Unforgivably, we were on the other side of the valley chasing soundbites from Jimmy Anderson – when Bacup clinched a stunning last-ball victory. 

That win had looked assured when Cairns went for 74 to leave Bacup needing just 24 from four overs with seven wickets to spare. The equation became twelve from two before Colne pro Adnam Malik’s extraordinary final over cost Bacup four wickets – three clean bowled and one run out – for the addition of just one run. Enter 18-year-old Scott Thompson, scorer of 26 runs in ten matches this season to date. Thompson conjures ten off the last five balls – including two off the final delivery – to see Bacup past the post and give them an eight-point lead over  Burnley with two games to play. 

The consensus in East Lancs is that it ranks alongside England’s fourth against Germany and the Edgbaston Ashes Test in the list of all-time great sporting finales. And we’ve missed it for Jimmy Anderson… 

A week later, we’re in Birmingham watching England beat Pakistan when Burnley dramatically pip Bacup to the 2006 

Lancashire League title. With Anderson now bowling, the Burnley attack runs through Haslingden’s batting to set up an easy six-wicket win. Meanwhile, at Enfield, Chris Cairns pulls up with a groin injury as the home side posts a total 187 which Bacup never threaten. It’s a big upset, but the bigger surprise comes at Edgbaston: there we are, sunning ourselves with the prawn-sandwich brigade, watching a tight ODI, wishing we were freezing our backsides off 100-miles or so further north. 

We can only conclude that Peter Mulderrig was right – once you’ve acquired a taste for this, watching the world’s best cricketers glissading across pristine fields loses its appeal. Give us a sloping wicket, a couple of gnarly Antipodeans, pie and chips and change from a fiver any day. The League’s future looks bright. Even before cricket became fashionable again last summer, the 14 Lancashire League clubs were sending out junior teams at four different age groups. Many budding Flintoffs also attend cricket camps in the school holidays. The League clubs are embracing change, too, with a 20/20 tournament now a money-spinning highlight of their season. 

Yes, there are challenges, say those running the clubs. There will always, for example, be someone droning on about falling standards of play. Most  people we speak to, though, say that any decline is marginal and the result of other changes.“Twenty years ago not many people went abroad on holiday, and if you were away with the family in Torquay, you’d be expected to come back to play at the weekend. We can’t enforce that any more,”shrugs Jeff Rudderforth at Todmorden. 

Yes, clubs with successful pros will always be branded one-man teams – the charge laid at Bacup’s door this year – but that’s part of the fun. Every game is like two heavyweights queuing up for the fairground bell-ring. And the punters love it. So when the agent Nadeem Abassi says that  League matches are “basically pro versus pro”, it’s not an insult – just one reason why the Lancashire League earns its place in cricketing legend. 

And ask any of the middle-managers who take the field with one of the world’s great all-rounders what they think of the pros’ input. Ask John Chapman about the stumping he took off Chris Cairns earlier this season. He’ll tell you: “Chris wasn’t sure whether to be happy or not, because no-one had ever taken a stumping off him before.” And as John says, “that’s definitely one to tell the grandchildren.”