Ponting and Clarke put Australia in winning position

January 4, 2012 by Francis Kelly  
Filed under News

Australia piled on the runs and pressure on the second day at the Sydney Cricket Ground, with Ricky Ponting registering a hundred and Michael Clarke an unbeaten maiden double to leave the hosts leading by 291 at stumps.

All the media hype has surrounded Sachin Tendulkar, but never has Ponting faced so much skepticism about his ability or so many calls for his removal from the side by people ‘in the know’. Yet Punter showed no discouragement, cruising along until Ishant Sharma had him out for 134, moving his series average up to 85, and proving the doubters wrong.

The day had begun in a rather sombre mood, polite applause for Clarke and Ponting’s half-centuries drowned out by the stadium announcer. India looked suitably dejected –  shoulders slouched, an unwillingness to chase in the field feeding Australia’s dominance with the bat. Stroke by stroke the current and former captain dismantled the visitors.

Ponting showcased the grit and determination needed to make his ton in one frenetic final single. Having hovered one shot away from breaking his near two-year century drought for three overs, he tapped one to the on-side, scampered down the pitch, threw himself into the dirt and slid to safety, praying that the throw was wide. It was, and he had completed the necessities; subsequent shots flew gracefully from the bat – the relieved man going just after tea. From that point on it was all about the new guy in charge, Clarke (251 not out) controlling play, merciless in his hunt for runs.

The hosts looked sharp, yet their endeavour raises questions about India’s lack – Virender Sehwag’s fourth ball of his second spell summing up their current state. Jogging in, he mistimed the release of delivery, flung the ball straight up, missed umpire Erasmus by inches – only for laughter to erupt all-round. India simply aren’t hurting, showing no embarrassment for their performance and certainly no desire to improve the situation.

A cameo innings by Mike Hussey – 55 not out – didn’t help matters, Mr Cricket surely cementing his place in the side for the series. On a pitch that may hold out one more day before deteriorating, India could really do with Tendulkar finally getting that 100th hundred if they are to have any chance of not losing this match and the series.

The Wizard of Oz

December 19, 2010 by SPIN  
Filed under Ashes, News

Have you ever been promised an amazing present for Christmas? The build to the big day is all part of the joy; telling everyone what you are getting, imagining the glorious moment when you tear off the paper to reveal your dream in all its shining glory.  You wake up on Christmas morning with that sick excitement in your belly. You run downstairs and rip open your gift…only to find you’ve a Satsuma and a bag of walnuts, just like last year.

That’s how England fans feel. The build up to this Ashes series filled them with a belief that England could finally win it down under after 20 years, and, bar the first couple of days in Brisbane, that belief was compounded by England’s performance in the first two Tests.

However, like the ghost of Christmas past, the England of old were on display here in Perth. The team that blew Australia away in Adelaide were a distant memory, as were the batting performances that saw England amass 1137 runs in their previous two innings, for the loss of just six wickets. The batting from England was poor.

By the fourth morning, it was no great surprise that the final five England wickets fell in just 50 minutes. With Bell and Prior the only recognised batsmen left to play, the Australian team were so fired up by the opportunity to level the series that they made it look like childsplay.

England had bowled reasonably well, particularly in the first innings, restricting Australia to 268. Tremlett in particular was effective on the bouncy WACA wicket, but they missed the control offered by Stuart Broad, who flies home on Tuesday to begin rehab on his torn stomach muscle.

However, Finn, although taking wickets, is expensive. Swann is yet to perform to his usual high standards in this series, although this pitch offered little for a spinner.

One man made the difference between the sides in this Test match. Like the legend of Loch Ness, England had heard much of the monster that is Mitchell Johnson at his best, but, until now, they had never seen it with their own eyes. Taking confidence from his runs in the first innings, Johnson produced a match-winning spell with the ball that tore apart the England batsmen on day two. He removed four of the five top batsmen, three of them in 12 balls for just four runs.

Other players stepped up for Australia. Mike Hussey scored his 2nd century in three Test matches, and became top run scorer of the series. Harris took a Test best six wickets in the second innings, his first five-for in Test cricket. But it was the performance of Johnson, with bat and ball, that won this Test match for Australia, and it was all the more remarkable for the stark contrast to his recent shocking form.

The only dampener on this victory for Australia is the injury to captain Ricky Ponting. He fractured the little finger on his left hand attempting a catch in the slips at the end of day three. His participation in the next Test, just one week away, is unlikely to be decided until the morning of the game, but he remains positive about his chances.

“I think I have a really good chance of playing,” he said. “It’s only a small fracture. It’s a bit sore and a bit angry, but I’ll be right!”

England captain Andrew Strauss played down the severity of the loss, whilst admitting that it was the batting that let them down.

“Now is not a time to panic,” Strauss said. “Up until this game, our cricket on this tour has been very consistent. We dropped off in this game there is no doubt about it, but if we can retain those levels of consistency then we’ve got a great chance of going on and winning the series.

“As a batting line up we’d be very disappointed with our two performances. We’ve got to take that on the chin, learn the lessons and move on.

“You’ve certainly got to address the way we lost wickets in clusters,” Strauss conceded. “The issue to address is if you lose one or two wickets, to make sure that you don’t lose three, four or five in a row. The batters have got to take responsibility for that, but at the same time we’ve got to keep perspective about things.

“It would be wrong for us to just wash our hands of this game completely”, Strauss said. “But it’s all about bouncing back now. We’ve done it well in the past and we are going to have to do it well in Melbourne.”

England have plenty of food for thought over Christmas. Whilst wholesale changes are not England’s style, and not necessarily needed, there are some causes for concern.

Collingwood is the standout weakness in the batting line up, having only scored 62 runs so far in the series. He continues a poor run of form that has spanned much of England’s summer in the UK. At 34, he is the only player almost certain to not take part in the next Ashes series in 2013. But his other contributions to the team should not be underestimated. His bowling offers an alternative to the quicks, and gives them a vital rest. He took the crucial wicket of Johnson in the second innings here. And his fielding is exemplary. He is also a trusted confidant of Strauss.

Morgan would be the obvious replacement for Collingwood, but his place in the team should be considered alongside the bowling line up, which is where the other decisions will lie. Finn looked tired during long bowling spells, and proved expensive. With Shahzad and Bresnan both chomping at the bit to get an opportunity in this series, Finn may be rested for the next Test. Bresnan would add strength to the batting line up, while Shahzad, with his ability to swing and reverse swing the ball, is perhaps the bowler most likely to take the all important wicket of Hussey.

Perhaps Strauss is right to play down the significance of this loss. There are still two matches left in the series, and England need only win one more to retain the Ashes. But momentum is with Australia, and if the Wicked Mitch of the West shows up on Boxing Day, England will have to overcome the Wizard of Oz.

Tremlett answers critics as England take control

December 16, 2010 by George Dobell  
Filed under News

When Chris Tremlett was released by Hampshire at the end of 2009, it appeared a career that promised so much might be sliding towards an early, unfulfilled finish.
Tremlett was 28 at the time and had taken just 14 wickets in the previous first-class season. For one so talented, it was a pitiful return. Capable of pace, hostility and menace, he had instead earned a reputation as diffident, work-shy and injury prone.
It was largely unfair. In truth, Tremlett suffered from some bad luck (on one occasion he suffered a punctured lung when an acupuncture session went wrong while on another he damaged ligaments on his hand when he cut himself washing up), from some misconception (his England record was actually pretty decent even before today; remember how close he was to a hat-trick on ODI debut or his three-wicket burst against India?) and from some poor handling (recall how he was named in England’s 12-man Test squad in 2008 only to be discarded for Darren Pattinson or how he was asked to fulfil role of strike and stock bowler for Hampshire on some featherbed wickets?).
A fresh start seems to have worked wonders. Relocating to The Oval, Tremlett has become fitter than ever before and, just as importantly, found acceptance and understanding of his role. As Surrey’s strike bowler, he claimed 48 first-class wickets in 2010 – his best season return – and thoroughly earned this second chance with England.
Doubters remained, of course. They questioned his stamina and, more damagingly, his pluck. But, on the biggest of stages, under the most intense spotlight, he delivered today. He answered all the questions. Let there be no more nonsense about him lacking heart. He outbowled his colleagues and gave a performance to suggest he could be in the side for some time.
Perhaps we should suspend judgement. Well though Tremlett bowled, he will surely come up against more testing opposition on less helpful surfaces. Phillip Hughes, for example, departed in Tremlett’s first over. He immediately looked uncomfortable against the short ball and, when confronted with a full delivery, simply played across it in a manner that casts doubts over his ability to ever succeed as a Test opener. Michael Clarke also played a large part in his own downfall, prodding horribly at one he should have left, while Steve Smith was drawn into prodding outside off stump with hard hands.
Still, this was a fine performance from Tremlett. He maintained a probing line and length and, by virtue of his height (six feet, seven inches), generated enough bounce to unsettle all the Australian batsmen.
“When i woke up this morning I was very nervous,” Tremlett said afterwards.
“But actually when I got into my stride and bowled my first over and got the wicket I felt at ease and just tried to enjoy the experience. It’s been a very exciting and enjoyable day.
“I moved to Surrey last year and enjoyed things there. Obviously the aspiration was to get back to playing for England and it’s great for me that I’ve had the opportunity to do it again. It was something I decided myself I wanted to do, get away from the comforts of Hampshire. A new county a new pitch a new place. Straight away I felt very welcome at Surrey, I enjoyed the whole season and felt I bowled pretty well.
“I’ve grown up a bit. I’m more experienced as a cricketer. I know my game a lot more. I just think I’m a better bowler than I was three years ago.
“My plan was to go in there and show people that I can be consistent, bowl my areas, and do what I’ve been going for Surrey. I try to ignore what people say’ when i get the ball in my hand I try to be aggressive and be positive.
“I would have been desperate to play in any Test, but the opportunity has come about to play in Perth. I think it showed that this wicket has bounce, and hopefully it has proved to be the right selection,. I thought I bowled the right way on this wicket and I was the right man to pick.”
“I always wanted to play for England, but it’s taken a bit of time to get back to where I wanted to be. Now the hard work has paid off.
“At the moment I feel fitter than ever stronger than ever and I am very happy with my action. It is as repetitive as it ever been and a it’s more consistent that its ever been. That was the most special game I’ve played in so far it was an amazing atmosphere and a very special day.”
It was a puzzling performance from Australia. Often their batsmen seemed to be the ones struggling to adapt to Perth’s bouncy, but hardly lightening fast, pitch. Ponting, for example, was again punished for pushing hard outside the off-stump (and was superbly caught by Collingwood in the slips), while Watson simply missed a yorker and Haddin and Johnson undid much of their good work with gormless dismissals: Haddin edging a wild drive and Johnson pulling obligingly to the man placed for the shot.
It could have been even better for England. Australia were reeling at 69-5 shortly after lunch and, but for some spirited resistance from Hussey, Haddin, Johnson and Siddle, might have struggled to exceed 130.
That the last five wickets added 199 tells us three things, however. Firstly that Australia’s top-order could learn much from the fortitude of their lower-order; secondly that this pitch holds no horrors and thirdly that utilising the new ball is crucial. England should be aiming for a total in excess of 400.
Hussey was typically impressive, leaving the ball well and finding the gaps cunningly, while Haddin drove beautifully and Johnson slashed with abandon that never hinted at permanency.
But when Swann produced a beauty, drifting in and turning away sharply, to dismiss Hussey, Australia’s last real chance of a substantial total had gone. A total of 268 might be better than they feared at lunch but, make no mistake, it’s inadequate.
Australia should have struck back in the evening. Hussey, at gully, was unable to lay a hand on a chance – routine at this level – offered by Strauss (on 7) off Johnson. England survived, however, and though they may endure some torrid moments early on day two, the Australia attack – with Steve Smith as the premier spinner – may appear very one paced later in the day.
Australia’s only crumb of comfort is the pace with which Johnson bowled and the hint of swing he managed. He is certainly fired-up – as a late broo-ha-ha with Cook illustrated – and retains the ability to turn such games.
There are a couple of clouds on England’s horizon, too. Kevin Pietersen spent some time off the field with a hamstring injury, while Steve Finn, whose failure to maintain the correct length was  punished for nearly six an over, also received treatment for a calf problem.
Still, England should be delighted with their first day performance. It was a brave decision from Strauss to insert Australia but it has been fully vindicated. England now have an excellent opportunity to bat the hosts out of the game. The Ashes could be secured by Monday.

Late wicket revive England’s hopes

December 6, 2010 by George Dobell  
Filed under Ashes, News

As if overcoming the Australian team isn’t hard enough, England will also have to overcome the Australian weather if they are to win the Adelaide Test. As if winning the Ashes wasn’t hard enough.
The rain that forced the sides off the field for an hour on day four is forecast to return on day five. With Australia on the ropes but battling hard, the rain perhaps provides their most realistic lifeline as they battle not to go one-down in the series.
As things stand, Australia are still 137 behind with six wickets in hand. They have quite a tail, however, and will not relish the challenge of resisting the world’s best spinner on a worn pitch offering sharp turn. If the rain relents – and the forecast is distinctly dodgy – then Australia face an uphill struggle to survive.
England may have to manage without Stuart Broad, though. He was forced off the pitch with what is thought to be a strained stomach muscle and, though he returned to field later, he did not bowl. Broad’s loss would be a substantial blow. He has bowled far better than his figures suggest so far in this series and would surely relish the bounce of the Perth pitch. He faces a fitness test before play on the fifth day with the worst case scenario – a torn muscle – ending his involvement in the series.
At least England won’t have to dismiss Michael Clarke on the last day. Clarke, who had batted beautifully, fell to the last ball of the fourth day when he edged a sharply-turning Kevin Pietersen off-break to short-leg. Though Clarke initially ‘walked’, he realised the umpire was not going to give him and returned to the crease only to be sentenced by the review system. It was a moment that did not cast a particularly flattering light on Clarke’s sportsmanship though it is likely that many professional players would have done the same. He later apologised via his twitter account, stating: “Just want to apologise for not walking off the ground tonight when I hit the ball. I was just so disappointed, my emotions got best of me.” It comes to something when an Australian apologises for not walking.
The wicket was also reward for an inventive piece of captaincy from Andrew Strauss. Swann had bowled 34 overs from the Cathedral End and, under normal circumstances, might have been expected to deliver the final two of the day. Instead, however, Strauss called Pietersen – with a Test bowling average of 143.5 – into the attack and won almost immediate reward. It really has been a wonderful game for KP.
In the context of this Test – and this series – it was a huge wicket. Clarke, using his feet to Swann and timing the ball crisply, had looked back to his best and, with Michael Hussey, had added 104 for Australia’s fourth wicket in 33 overs. The draw was beginning to look the most likely result.
“The wicket was a massive bonus,” Swann said. “That last session was tough going; Australia had their two best players of spin out there. In an ideal world we would have had them 8 or 9, but its not an ideal world. We were up against a very resilient Australian side. I’ve bowled worse than that and taken wickets, but I’m mature enough to know that I shouldn’t try and take a wicket with every ball. “
Hussey remains, however. While he has never quite matched Clarke for fluency, England are already well aware of his resilience and he may take some dislodging on the final day. He has already survived one flash past slip off Collingwood and was beaten a couple of times by Swann. But he is well capable of batting all day and, in North and Haddin, in particular, represents a viable survival opportunity. Particularly if he has help from the weather.
“We fought hard today,” Hussey said afterwards, “but a little bit of rain would help! If we can draw the match England will see it as a loss. But they have certainly outplayed us, no question. It’s very rewarding if you can come in and get your team through to win or save a match.”
Swann will present the greatest threat. Generating substantial turn, often from the footmarks, he found Katich’s edge with a fine ball that drifted in and turned sharply, before defeating Ponting with one that turned far less than had been anticipated. It was a clever – and intentional – piece of variation from Swann, who held the ball slightly differently for the delivery. These are conditions of which off-spinners dream. Swann really should win this Test for England.
Finn was impressive, too. Bowling at a sharp pace and gaining a little seam movement, he troubled all the batsmen and thoroughly deserved the wicket of Watson, forced to play at one on off stump that bounced a little. It was due reward for a probing spell.
Earlier, England’s batsmen maintained their domination over the Australian bowlers. By adding 69 in 9 overs, they extended their total to 620-5 (the second largest total they’ve ever made in Australia and the highest since the 636 they made at Sydney in 1928) and earned a first innings lead of 375.
Ian Bell, again timing the ball sweetly, sped to his sixth half-century in Tests in Australia, while Matt Prior batted typically selflessly. In the gluttony for runs currently embracing his colleagues it could easily be overlooked how well Bell is batting, but he really does look in the most delicious form. Sooner or later, the bowlers will pay. Pietersen, who surpassed his previous Test best (226, against the West Indies), fell in the charge to set-up the declaration, edging one that turned sharply.
So Xavier Doherty will, at least, be able to tell his grandchildren about the day he defeated Kevin Pietersen with just his second ball of the day. But it will be like Gordon Brown telling his grandchildren that he was once Prime Minister. The full story isn’t so flattering.

Anderson swings England into control

December 3, 2010 by George Dobell  
Filed under Ashes, News

We should have had more faith. When Ricky Ponting won and toss and chose to bat under a burning sun, there was a sense of resignation over what was to follow: a daunting first innings appeared inevitable.
But this England team is a very different animal from the ones that have toured Australia in recent years. England, as they showed in their second innings in Brisbane, no longer subside meekly when pressure is applied. And if the script called for a dominant display of Australian batting, England hadn’t read it.
It’s not the same Australian team, either. This version has a vulnerability unseen in these parts since 1986-87. You may even have to go back a further decade – to the years when they were decimated by the Packer exodus – to find a weaker Australian side. And there’s no overwhelming evidence of emerging talent. They could be in for a few years of relative mediocrity.
Australia certainly squandered a golden opportunity on the first day here at Adelaide. Winning the toss on the sort of pitch that could reduce bowlers to nervous wrecks, they subsided to 245 all out. It’s a total at least 200 short of par and provides England with a wonderful chance to inflict a telling blow. It’s not over-stating things to say that it was a day that could define the series.
England bowled – and fielded – admirably. Crucially, James Anderson utilised the new ball expertly, with Stuart Broad mean and luckless in support.
Graeme Swann also produced his best bowling of the series so far, capturing the key wicket of Michael Hussey and proving far more consistent that he had been in Brisbane.
But Australia suffered more than a little self-inflicted damage. Two men fell to dozy run-outs and several others played shots they will regret. For only four men to make it into double figures on this pitch is a damning indictment of their cricket.
Certainly they suffered an appalling start. Just 13 balls into their innings, they stood on two for three: with Katich, Ponting and Clarke all back in the pavilion. Never, in their Test history, has an Australian team lost their first three wickets so cheaply.
Katich suffered the indignity of being dismissed before he had faced a ball. Responding sluggishly to an optimistic call for a single from Shane Watson, Katich was left stranded when Jonathan Trott swooped round to square-leg and pulled off a direct hit with only one stump at which to aim: Richard Halsall, England’s fielding coach, take a bow.
Ponting went next ball. Perhaps the harsh would chastise him for pushing at the ball too hard, but Anderson deserves much credit for a perfect outswinger, demanding a stroke, and the outside edge was well taken by Swann at second slip. Michael Clarke, also pushing with hard hands, went in similar fashion.
In Mike Hussey, however, Australia have the perfect man for a crisis. It is almost unthinkable that Australia considered dropping him ahead of the series and, first with Watson, then with North and Haddin, he averted the rout that had appeared possible. He survived a couple of nervous moment – on three Anderson missed a tough caught and bowled opportunity and on 10 he edged just short of the slip cordon – but this was another assured performance from a man who might have thought his best years were behind him.
He added 94 with Watson, 60 with North and 51 with Hussey, but can only have been frustrated at his partners’ propensity to throw their wickets away.
Because, for a time, England had appeared toothless. Once Anderson and Broad had been seen off – Hussey and Watson leaving the ball with discipline – Finn was punished for over-pitching by conceding a run-a-ball and Hussey, using his quick feet and soft hands, negated Swann’s threat.
So the wicket of Watson, pushing hard at one he could have left and slicing a catch to gully in the second over after lunch, was something of a bonus. North, too, having done the hard work, gifted his wicket with a shocking stroke: had he been aiming to provide catching practise to Prior, he could hardly have been more obliging.
Hussey, seven short of a well-deserved century, was the victim of a fine piece of bowling, however. Drawn into the drive, he was beaten by flight and turn and well caught at slip. Ryan Harris followed next ball, though as replay suggested he not only hit the ball, but that it was going to miss the stumps, he can count himself a little unlucky. The review system, used for the dismissal, remains a work in progress.
Haddin swung merrily for a while – including one outrageous heave for six off Anderson – but this Australian tail has been docked by the loss of Johnson and Hauritz and was never likely to resist for long. Doherty was punished for ball-watching and run out after some slick work from England – Halsall take a bow again – and Haddin, clearly with little faith in his partners, fell hooking in the pursuit of quick runs.
Harris, controversially preferred to Hilfenhaus, showed some pace when England began their reply, but there was no disguising the fact that was England’s day. Overwhelmingly so.
Particularly for Anderson. The series is barely underway, but already he has answered many of the questions posed before it began. While he has not always found the swing he would like, he has also proved to be far more than a one trick pony. Certainly his command of line and length – and his ability to perform under pressure – is far better than it was when he toured here previously while his new ball bowling is the most incisive of any bowler on either side. If he misses the Perth Test on paternity leave, England will miss him sorely.

Where the Ashes will be won and lost

November 19, 2010 by George Dobell  
Filed under Ashes, News

Form
On the face of things, England go into the series as the form side. They’ve won five of their last six Test series (they drew the other) and seven of their last eight Tests. Australia, meanwhile, have not won either of their last two Test series (they drew against Pakistan and lost against India). In all cricket (Test, ODI and T20), Australia have won only two of their last 11 matches. They’ve even slipped to fifth, one place below England, in the Test rankings.
But touring Australia is notoriously tough. England have not won an Ashes series there since 1986-87 and have lost the last five series heavily. Of those 25 Tests, they’ve lost 18 and won just three.
Australia also have an awesome record at Brisbane, the venue for the first Test. They remain unbeaten at the Gabba since 1990 and have won 16 of the 20 Tests played there.
On this tour, however, England have left little to chance. They’ve enjoyed a longer – and more successful – warm-up period ahead of the Tests and do not have the injury concerns that hampered them on recent Ashes tours.
Crucially, they also know that their opponents – sans Warne, Gilchrist, McGrath, Hayden, Langer et al. – are a pale shadow of Australian teams of old.
Batting
Not since they were weakened by the Packer exodus of the late 1970s has Australia’s batting appeared more brittle. Their line-up contains three 35-year-olds (Ponting, Hussey and Katich) who appear to be on the wane, while Marcus North is also under pressure to retain his place. In the first innings of the recent round of state games, their top eight batsmen managed just 41 runs between them.
It would be unwise to under-estimate the class of Ponting and Hussey, however, while Australian lower-order, including the likes of Mitchell Johnson and, perhaps, Steve Smith, is more than capable of scoring valuable runs. On flat pitches, they will remain very hard to dislodge. It’s worth remembering that England have not taken 20 Australian wickets in a match in Australia when the Ashes have been at stake since December 1986.
England’s batsmen, meanwhile, have been in fine form. Of the top order, only Trott has failed to record a half-century in the warm-up games, with Strauss and Bell batting superbly. This series could well define Bell’s entire career: all the evidence suggests he is ready to blossom.
Questions remain, however. Strauss and Cook both struggled against Pakistan’s seam attack (they averaged 25 and 23 respectively in the summer’s Test series) while Kevin Pietersen is enduring the most prolonged spell of poor form in his career. England’s lower-order –  bolstered by the likes of Swann, Broad and, perhaps, Bresnan – will have to contribute with the bat if England are to prosper. England’s lack of a reserve specialist batsman is also a concern. If injury – or poor form – strikes Cook or Struass, England will be obliged to open either with Trott or send for support. Neither option is ideal.
Fast bowlers
England’s attack has enjoyed a good year. The swing of Anderson, the probing hostility of Broad and the steadiness of Finn have combined to overwhelm all visitors during the summer of 2010, with the first two now rated among the top 10 bowlers in Test cricket.
Perhaps, however, England were flattered this summer. The Bangladesh and Pakistan batting line-ups were woefully weak, while it is unlikely England’s seamers will stumble upon conditions so favourable to them in Australia. It is unthinkable that the host batsmen will roll over so obligingly.
In particular, there are question marks over the effectiveness of James Anderson in Australia. His record in the country – five Test wickets at a cost of 82 apiece – is ugly and it remains to be seen if he can swing the Kookaburra ball. If he does not strike with the new ball, England are overly reliant on tall, hit the deck seamers and their attack will lack variation. Anderson is a much improved bowler, however, and will surely improve that grim average.
Steve Finn is very much a work in progress, too. While he is admirably accurate and gains bounce, Finn’s bowling may still lack bite and this series will demand a sharp step-up in class. Chris Tremlett, who has more pace if less consistency, may challenge for Finn’s place before the series is over.
In Stuart Broad, England have a potential player of the series. Blessed with pace, height, bounce and the ability to move the ball in the air and off the seam, Broad is a far more rounded cricketer than the last time he played Australia. The one concern is over his exact role, however. Is Broad a strike bowler or a containing bowler? Should he be aiming for the top of off stump, or the badge on the Australian helmets? If he is not clear exactly what is expected of him, it could prove costly.
The Australian fast bowling attack is decent rather than daunting. In Doug Bollinger and Mitchell Johnson, the hosts possess two hostile left-armers, though Johnson’s inconsistency must worry Australia. He endured a poor 2009 Ashes and has claimed just 11 wickets at 43.45 in his last two Test series. Siddle, too, is honest and impressive rather than inspiring. Ben Hilfenhaus is dangerous, however. He took more wickets (22) than anyone else on either side in last year’s Ashes campaign and his late swing and sharp pace and could cause England’s top-order substantial problems.
Spin
England look stronger in this department. In Graeme Swann, England posses the bowler rated second in the world in the Test rankings and a man with 105 Test wickets in 22 Tests since January 2009. Shane Warne has recently called him “probably the best spinner in the world”. Monty Panesar, bowling better than he has for several years, remains a capable reserve.
There are a couple of reasons for concern, however. For a start, Swann did not enjoy a particularly successful Ashes series in England last year (he claimed 14 wickets at 40.5 apiece), while he yet to take a Test wicket in Australia. History is against him too: English off-spinners have tended to struggle Down Under, though a willingness by umpires to grant more LBW appeals (thanks to the influence of Hawkeye) should help him. Still, overseas spinners have taken their wickets at an average cost of 49 (the figure rises to 56 when considering only Englishmen) apiece in Australia since 2000, which must be a cause for concern.
Australia’s Nathan Hauritz is an under-rated bowler, too. Though unremarkable, he is canny and tidy and out-bowled Swann in at least two Tests last summer. Australia also have several contenders to exploit Kevin Pietersen’s apparent weakness against left-arm spin.
Still, this is an area where England should excel and Swann has the character to revel in the expectation.
Team spirit
Hewn in adversity and tested in times of triumph and disaster, England have developed an excellent team spirit over the last couple of years. When Andy Flower and Andrew Strauss took over the team management, England were in decline. Their first series ended in an embarrassing defeat in the Caribbean, but they battled back to win the Ashes in 2009 and the World T20 in 2010. England have a settled, balanced side who, generally, know their roles and what is expected of them. They also have decent strength in depth in most departments. They have proved united in adversity – just think of the Leeds debacle of 2009 or the tensions of this summer’s series against Pakistan – and have enjoyed eachothers’ success in times of victory. Such spirit will serve them well over the coming weeks.
Australia are less settled. Ponting has won more Tests – as a player and captain – than any man in the history of the game (the country has had three Prime Ministers while he has been their Test captain), but the sense is of a man coming to the end of his reign.
Such is their uncertainty over their best XI, that they named a 17-man squad ahead of the first Test. They even sacked one of their selectors – Merv Hughes – recently. They have injury worries, form worries and a fear that Ponting’s long-reign as captain may be coming to an end. While home advantage is usually a big advantage, it could also prove to be a mixed blessing if home supporters lose patience with their team.
Prediction
England to win and win handsomely.

SPIN to revolutionise Ashes coverage

July 6, 2009 by SPIN  
Filed under Ashes, Featured Content, News

SPIN and Hawkeye are to team up to offer cricket fans revolutionary new coverage of this summer’s Ashes on the web. Hawkeye Pulse will offer visitors to spincricket.com the quickest updated scores on the web, as well as offering a range of new interactive features.

The technology, developed by the team behind Hawkeye, has never been used for a sports event in the UK before. However, Pulse has proved a great success during its use in the first two Indian Premier Leagues, as well as the US Open tennis and Australian international games ovr the last winter.

SPIN was the first publication in the world to use the as-seen-on-TV Hawkeye graphics and data, a feature that has been popular from our first issue back in 2005.

Pulse takes that relationship a step further: users will have the latest scores, access to a Hawkeye archive of the day’s play, plus special Hawkeye-themed features analysing the key moments of the day’s play, put together by the SPIN team.

Pulse is the most interactive form of sports coverage on the web, offering users the chance to enter live, interactive Fantasy Cricket-style competitions and to vote on issues surrounding the game, as well as calling up Hawkeye graphics and data.

“Pulse is designed to offer viewers a deeper and richer engagament with a sport,” says Paul Hawkins, the man behind Hawkeye. “It’s built on the same kind of real-time platform used in trading, so the Ashes scores will reach Pulse users quicker than those on any other service.

“It also allows users to express their opinions and to predict certain elements of the game, offering the engagment that a gambling site might offer but without the downside of spending any money!

“We want to offer people a richer and deeper understanding of sport, via match stats and Hawkeye analysis.

“With Spin providing Hawkeye-based news and feature material, the idea is to bring a TV mindset to the internet coverage, offering rolling highlights of all the day’s talking-points.”

Though Pulse on spincricket.com will be a boon to office-bound cricket fans, those watching on TV at home will also get extra value from switching on their computers.

The free-to-enter Fantasy Cricket element of Pulse will have a series of brilliant prizes up for grabs.

West Indies shock Aussies at World T20; Yuvraj blasts Banglas

June 6, 2009 by SPIN  
Filed under Featured Content, News

West Indies blasted their way past an apparently shell-shocked Australia to produce the second upset of the ICC World Twenty20.

Having restricted the Aussies – who won the toss – to 169/7, the Windies, fired by skipper Chris Gayle on top form, chased down the runs within 16 overs. Brett Lee’s first three overs went for 51, as Gayle (88 off 50) and Andre Fletcher (53 off 32) put on 133 for the first wicket – a record for international T20s.

Gayle’s innings included six sixes, one of them possibly the largest ever seen at the ground. He left the park to a standing ovation when he was finally out with the Windies just 12 runs short of victory.

Australia were on the back foot from the off, thanks to an extraordinary first over from Jerome Taylor.

The nine-ball over included three wides, two wickets and no runs off the bat: first, Shane Watson was caught at mid-off by Sarwan trying to hit over the top; then Ricky Ponting – having faced two consecutive wides – was trapped lbw by the first legitimate ball he faced.

When vice-skip Pup Clarke went, the Aussies were 15/3 – but then David Warner (63 off 53) led a fightback that brought them to apparent repectability.

But they were blown away by Gayle and Fletcher’s onslaught, with Ponting using seven different bowlers in the 15.5 over innings.

“We spoke about getting the first over of each innings right and as it turned out we lost two wickets in our first batting innings and they took a lot off our first bowling over as well,” said Aussie skip Ricky Ponting afterwards.

“With the game being as short as it is, you can’t afford to give momentum like that away in either innings and we did it in both.

“I thought 169 was going to be a competitive total if we could take wickets up front with the new ball but they took us on, hit some early boundaries and got the momentum going their way. They outplayed us for sure.

Australia must now beat Sri Lanka on Monday to have a chance of staying in the competition.

• At Trent Bridge, India beat Bangladesh by 25 runs. Having won the toss and batted, they looked in danger of being bogged down as Gautam Gambhir took 46 balls over his half-century. But a majestic display of big-hitting from man of the match Yuvraj Singh (41 off 18 balls) changed the momentum of the game.

India finished with 180/5 off their 20 overs. Banglas opener Junaid Siddique hit 41 off 22 including three sixes to give Indian fans something to worry about: but when Siddique fell to Ojha in the ninth over, Bangladesh were 77/4. They lacked the firepower down the order to pursue the chase and the game fizzled out as a contest, with Ojha finishing with 4/21 off his four overs.

In the first game of the day, New Zealand (90/3) beat Scotland (89/4) in a seven-over shoot-out with an over to spare. With the Black Caps still needing 22 runs off the last two overs, another upset, after England’s debacle on Friday night, had seemed on the cards. But Scott Styris and Ross Taylor blasted the penultimate over from Jan Stander for 22 to finish the rain-delayed game in no-nonsense fashion.

‘Obviously 3-0 down with 
three Tests played is 
not ideal…’

March 13, 2009 by SPIN  
Filed under Ashes

From: SPIN February 2007 issue

November 5
After a modest, quiet build-up that has lasted a mere 17 years, England finally fly out to Australia for their Ashes defence. “Myself and the team are very excited,” says the captain Freddie Flintoff. “It’s going to be huge,” he adds, covering the part of the script that says: ‘Ponting batting average’ with his finger.

November 6
Grievous Bodily Harmison is ready to inflict some damage on the Aussies. He’s pumped! He’s psyched! He’s… just admitted he felt sad when he cut Ricky Ponting’s cheek last year. “As a bowler and as a person I was disappointed with myself,” he sobs. “I didn’t realise the extent of the injury until I got back to my mark, and by then it was too late. It was probably the one regret of the whole Ashes series.”

November 7
Four or five? Enough about how many kisses Shane Warne should slip on the end of his texts, England have finally decided how many bowlers to go into the Test series with. “If we were confident of [Freddie Flintoff] getting through a lot of overs, we could probably look at [playing] four [bowlers],” says the coach Duncan Fletcher, deliberately missing out of a load of words in a bid to confuse SPIN. “But with Flintoff not bowling many, we’ve got to go in with five bowlers.” Brilliant.

November 9
Cricket Australia chief executive James Sutherland says he wants spectators to behave during the Ashes. “Action will be taken against anyone who fails to show respect for the people around them,” he said, before budgeting for an empty ground.

November 10
Tour match, Canberra.
Prime Minister’s XI (347/5) beat England (181) by 166 runs
England are trying to win a series in Australia for the first time in 1986-87, so they decide to pay homage to that ‘Can’t bat, can’t bowl, can’t field’ team with a diabolical performance in the tour opener. Saj Mahmood (9-0-97-1) surely bowls himself out of the Test team. England fans get a strange feeling of déjà vu.

November 12
Tour match, Sydney, Day 1
New South Wales 325/5
Having scored a century for the Prime Minister’s XI against England two days ago, Phil Jaques bashes another. He’s knocking on the Australian door. Off the field, Duncan Fletcher announces that Geraint Jones and not Chris Read will keep wicket in the Test team. “We just think that he [Jones] handles the pressure better,” he says, not so much tempting fate as punching it in the mouth and screaming: ‘Let’s ’ave yer!’

November 13
Tour match, Sydney, Day 2
New South Wales 355/9dec, England 256/4
Kevin Pietersen stamps his authority all over the tour with a thrilling unbeaten 80 against an attack of McGrath, Lee, Clark and Bracken. Less palatable is the revelation that Monty Panesar was called “a stupid Indian who can’t speak English” by a fan on the first day. “I don’t think there’s too much racist about that,” says some brainless Neanderthal drong… sorry, says the chief executive of Cricket Australia, James Sutherland.

November 14
Tour match, Sydney, Day 3
England 349; New South Wales 194-6. Match drawn
A stress-related illness strikes Marcus Trescothick for the third time, and puts him out of a Test career for the foreseeable future. The whole of Australia is touchingly and surprisingly sympathetic; even 
Jeff Thomson talks cogently about the insidious dangers of mental illness. No, of course he effing doesn’t. While everyone else 
in Australia treats Trez with 
the respect he deserves, Thommo makes some crass comment about sending the whole of the England squad home with depression.
November 16
Australia present their plan to regain the Ashes: pace… lots of pace. They line up the bovver boys, with six quicks (well, five and Glenn McGrath) in a 13-man squad: Lee, Clark, Watson, Johnson and Tait. England, meanwhile, show their famous consistency of selection by replacing an experienced biffer of an opener, Trescothick, with a callow, middle-order touch player in Ed Joyce, called in from the Academy.

November 17
Tour match, Adelaide, Day 1
South Australia 247/7 dec; England 24/1
Steve Harmison pulls out of the final warm-up match with that dog-ate-my-homework of excuses, the side strain. But at least England pick Monty Panesar ahead of Ashley Giles, which means he’s a cert for the Test team, right? On the field, Darren Lehmann, 68, is run out for 99 after stopping for a mid-pitch fag.

November 18
Tour match, Adelaide, Day 2
England 303/6
Ian Bell (132) and Paul Collingwood (80) play their first significant innings of the tour. Michael Clarke is drafted in for the hamstrung Shane Watson.

November 19
Tour match, 
Adelaide, Day 3
England 415, South Australia 164-2. Match drawn
As the match meanders towards a draw and word spreads that Giles will be picked ahead of Panesar, so Justin Langer turns his attention towards the big one. “I don’t care if Tony Blair or Robbie Williams bowl me the first ball of the Ashes series – all my team-mates and I care about is winning back the Ashes,” he chuckles, killing once and for all the myth that Australians don’t have a sense of humour.

November 21
They’re going to pick Gilo!

November 22
They’re actually going to pick Gilo!!

November 23
First Test, Brisbane, Day 1
Australia 346/3
Any chance we could try that one again? The most eagerly anticipated day in cricket history begins with the ultimate bum note as the new, pacifistic Steve Harmison shows how loath he is to hurt the Aussie batsmen by bowling the first ball of the day to second slip. Andrew Flintoff, playing his first first-class game in six months, is heroism incarnate, the rest a rabble as Ricky Ponting (137*) breezes to a chillingly inevitable century. England pick Gilo.

November 24
First Test, Brisbane, Day 2
Australia 602/9 dec; England 53/3
Australia romp past 600, with Ponting making 196, but no worries, mate: England will pile up the runs on this pitch, right? Wrong. Glenn McGrath scalps the openers with successive balls and, when Paul Collingwood surrenders after a merciless interrogation from the depressingly good new(ish) boy Stuart Clark, England are right in it.
November 25
First Test, Brisbane, Day 3
England 157; Australia 181/1
Cunning stuff from England, who keep the obviously-over-the-hill McGrath in the Australian team for the rest of the series by gifting him four more wickets. McGrath finishes with six for 50 and, unsatisfied with a slender lead of 445, Ricky Ponting decides to bat again. In the absence of locking the squad in a darkened room with Harold Bishop’s voice on loop, it’s hard to think of a more sinister form of mental disintegration.

November 26
First Test, Brisbane, Day 4
Australia 202/1dec; England 293/5
England, as only they can, make a virtue out of an imminent pasting. Chasing 648 after Langer scores Test cricket’s most meaningless century, they restore some pride through Paul Collingwood (96 before being suckered by Warne) and Kevin Pietersen (92). Warne and KP have a comedy contretemps after Warner apparently throws the ball at his chum’s head. But the defining image of the day 
is Australian triumphalism: 
when Freddie carts a Warne long-hop towards long-on, the fielder Justin Langer celebrates even before he’s taken the catch. What’s not to love?

November 27
First Test, Brisbane, Day 5
England 370. Australia win by 277 runs.
Australia need just 20 overs to wrap up business, with the hugely impressive Stuart Clark ending with seven wickets in the match. Still, it’s okay: England got thrashed in the first Test in 2005, and look what happened then!
November 29
One thrashing into the series, coach Fletcher tries some mind games. “I thought it was quite important we played Shane Warne very well,” he says. “We were pretty confident the way we played him there. The only thing is we gave him two soft wickets, and outside of that we played him very, very well and positively, so that was a big positive which came out of there.” Glenn McGrath’s old bones start creaking again; he is doubtful for the second Test with a heel injury. It’s 2005 all over again!

November 30
Warner weighs into the war of words. Of course he does. “Kevin [Pietersen] was the only one to play me well – even though I could have had him out twice,” he says. “Duncan is trying to build up a few players who aren’t convinced and are really worried about me. I thought I had the better of Alastair Cook and Ian Bell and Paul Collingwood. I got Bell out as planned – I set him up for a slider exactly the same way as last year. I am all over Ian Bell and he still can’t pick my straight one. Collingwood is a fighter but he had some luck.”

December 1
Second Test, Adelaide, Day 1
England 266/3
At last: a Good Day for England, even though they pick Giles ahead of Panesar again. The openers fall early on an Adelaide featherbed, but Bell (60), Collingwood (98*) and the increasingly inevitable KP (60*) put England in the box seat. Australians whinge about “turgid cricket”. They’re running scared! We’ve got them where we want them! It’s 2005 all over again!

December 2
Second Test, Adelaide, Day 2
England 551/6 dec, Australia 28/1
The Ginger Bradman, Paul Collingwood (206), hits the first Test double-ton by an Englishman in Oz since Wally Hammond in 1936-37, while KP, before getting yet another attack of the nervous 158s, bats so imperiously that Shane Warne is forced to morph into Ashley Giles, bowling over the wicket and miles wide of leg stump. England declare on 551/6 and claim the wicket of Langer just before the close. Ave it!

December 3
Second Test, Adelaide, Day 3
Australia 312/5
Ricky Ponting scores an Aussie-record 33rd Test century, but most of the runs belong to Ashley Giles, who cements Public Enemy No1 status by dropping a relatively easy chance at deep square leg with Ponting on 35. Cue hundreds of ‘You’ve just dropped the Ashes, Gilo’ quips. “You can’t bring it back – it’s gone,” says Gilo. “I will just spend the next 20 years worrying about it.”

December 4
Second Test, Adelaide, Day 4
Australia 513, England 59/1
Grass grows, paint dries, and the Test meanders towards a draw. Matthew Hoggard takes seven wickets, a heroic performance on a dodo-dead pitch, but Michael Clarke’s anonymous century ends England’s hopes of victory. Warner enlivens the last part of the day by labelling Ian Bell as ‘The Shermanator’, the ginger geek from American Pie.

December 5
Second Test, Adelaide, Day 5
England 129, Australia 168/4. Australia win by six wickets.
Oh no! England go to work expecting a nice quiet day, only for Warne and Brett Lee to catch them unawares. Warne is pure theatre, but the hapless batting of England’s top order (the unlucky Andrew Strauss excepted) would shame Frank Spencer. England eke out 70 runs off 54 overs before their final demise. Australia, set 168, romp to a once-in-a-lifetime victory with 13 overs to spare. “I’m not in the best of moods right now,” says Fred afterwards.
Coach Fletcher, meanwhile, bristles at being asked about Monty/Gilo for the millionth time. “The reason for that, we have said on numerous occasions, is that we want to bat to eight,” he harrumphs. “Look at Australia where Warne had that 100 partnership with Clarke in the first innings. Those runs put the pressure back on to us. We think Ashley can do that better. That’s the reason.”
Got that, everyone?

December 6
Ian Botham asks questions about England’s selection. A lot of people are. “I am asking questions,” Botham thunders. “A lot of people are asking questions. Is Monty Panesar here or has he gone home? I am totally confused. I was confused at the start of the series and I am even more confused now. I am not taking anything away from Australia, they have been magnificent, but we have two players who have hardly played any cricket in a year – Jimmy Anderson and Ashley Giles, two key bowlers.”

December 8
Tour match, Lilac Hill
England 259/8 (50 overs), Cricket Australia Chairman’s XI 260/3. CAC XI win by 7 wickets.
Damien Martyn jumps before he is pushed, retiring from all forms of cricket with immediate effect. Alec Stewart, 43, blasts a 69-ball 69 as England lose a friendly at Lilac Hill. Is SPIN the only one to reckon he could still do a better job than Jones and Read?

December 9
Tour match, Perth, Day 1
Western Australia 309/8
A shadowy, vaguely familiar figure stands at mid-off during England’s tour match at Perth. Is it serial imposter Karl Power? Nope, it’s former/current England captain Michael Vaughan! And he’s not allowed to speak to the press after the day’s play! Monty Panesar runs out the WA No 8 with a direct hit, though. What more can he do?

December 10
Tour match, Perth, Day 2
Western Australia 322/8dec, England 356/5
The smattering of England fans at the WACA give out a huge cheer as No 3 Virgil Vaughan walks to the crease! Except it’s not Vaughan; it’s Jonah Jones. Virgil doesn’t come in at 4, 5, 6 or 7 either as he sits in the stand all day, chatting to his wife and coach Fletcher as England get some batting practice. Strauss (88) and Cook (106) get some much needed runs, but Geraint Jones bags a first-baller and then has to watch Chris Read hammer a fluent 59. The game is a weird, two-day draw.

December 12
England beat Australia! At the WACA! In a Legends Twenty20 game, as a suspiciously unveteran team including Thorpe, Hollioake, Stewart and Malcolm takes on a roster of Aussie fiftysomethings. Graham Thorpe’s classy 72 leads the run chase. Is SPIN the only one to reckon he could still do a job?

December 14
third Test, perth, Day 1
Australia 244; England 51/2
Fletcher and Flintoff finally give in and pick Monty – and guess what? He’s brilliant! He removes Langer in his second over, sends Gilchrist packing for a duck and finishes with 5/92. “It is one of my best days. I was pleased the way the ball came out,” intones the Montster, afterwards. “I trust the selectors’ judgement and I trust whenever they feel it’s right and, thankfully, today they picked me and luckily I got some wickets as well.” Even Tinker Harmison (4/48) finally gets in the groove – and despite losing two late wickets, including Ian Bell off a Lee no-ball – it’s England’s day.

December 15
third Test, perth, Day 2
Australia 119/1
Australia’s day. The ‘non-batsman’ Monty hits an unbeaten 16 in a last wicket stand of 40 with Harmy, but England still blow their chance. Hoggard removes Langer with the first ball of Australia’s second innings – but after that it’s all one-way traffic as Hayden (57*) and Ponting (57*) punish the tourists. Off the park, Ashley Giles flies home to be with his wife who, an ECB spokesman says, has “a potentially serious illness.” Jamie Dalrymple is called up from the Academy in his place.

December 16
third Test, perth, Day 3
Australia 527/5 dec. England 19/1.
You thought that last day at Adelaide was bad? Well, yeah, it was pretty bad – but today is probably worse: England are put 
to the sword in the murderous 50-degree heat at the WACA, with Australia hitting 408 runs off 76 overs before declaring. Hussey (103) and Clarke (135*) get tons but no-one will remember them: not after Gilchrist (102*) hits the second-fastest ton in Test history – off 57 balls – forcing England to put eight men on the boundary.
England are set 557 to win and Strauss 
is given leg-before straight away – another howler from umpire Koertzen. Meanwhile, a view inside the dressing room from KP: “It is becoming increasingly clear that our best is not good enough against this great Aussie side,” he writes in his News of the World column. “I can’t tell you how sombre a place our dressing room is at the moment. Our performances on the pitch have been depressing enough but the news that led to Ashley rushing home has hit us all hard.”
December 17
third Test, perth, Day 4
England 265/5
Cook (116) and Bell (87) put on 170, giving the Aussies reason to look ever so slightly tetchy – and England fans to feel at least vaguely hopeful, at least for the next Ashes series in 2009. But Cook is out in sight of close and when nightwatchman Hoggard comes and goes in a blink, the Aussies suddenly have their foot back on England’s throat. England still need 292 to win.

December 18
third Test, perth, Day 5
England 350 all out. Australia win by 206 runs.
Flintoff’s feisty, even-time 51, including a six off Brett Lee, puts the wind up the Aussies during the first hour. But once Fred goes, the last five wickets fall for 14 runs in eight overs, as the tail perform a traditional collapse, aided by KP taking a single off the first ball of the over whenever he can. Jonah Jones picks up a pair. Two balls after lunch, Warne bowls Panesar to wrap up victory by 206 runs. Literally dozens of Aussie fans are there to see it. Punter Ponting says the Ashes aren’t enough – now the Aussies want a whitewash: “I won’t be happy if we lose a Test match from here and I’m sure the other players are in exactly the same boat.”
“Three-nil down having lost the Ashes, it’s not a great feeling,” says a teary Freddie. “It hurts. I’m not quite sure I can describe it, I’m looking for words.”

December 19
Duncan Fletcher sidesteps talk of his being sacked/resigning. “From our point of view the people who are criticising now are the ones who run with the fox and hunt with the hounds,” he moots. “All we can do is run with the fox. We are the ones who make these very difficult decisions.” He’s not the only one to blame for the fiasco, he says: “There’s blame on all of us. Everyone’s got to be blamed, on how we performed and how we selected.”

December 20
England fans may have been wondering why Saj Mahmood was picked for the third Test. Well – so has he! “There were times during Australia’s second innings when I began to question what I was doing on the pitch,” he reveals, after bowling just 17 overs in the match. “I had to wonder whether I had been selected as a bowler. I’m sure Freddie had his reasons for keeping me out of the attack for such long periods, but I was a bit surprised.”

December 21
Shane Warne surprises everyone by announcing that he will retire at the end of the current series. He says he would have quit had Australia won in 2005 – and played on until 2009 if they’d lost this time. “To go out in Melbourne in front of 100,000 people in my backyard and hopefully get 700 wickets, will be superb,” says Warner. With brilliant timing,Tinker Harmison announces his own retirement from one-day cricket, after being left out of the England squad for the CB Series. The party sees yet another reshuffle of England’s limited ODI resources, including the return of Michael Vaughan (“subject to fitness”).
Monty gets his first ODI call-up. “We view his selection as a bold, attacking move which will strengthen our ability to take wickets,” says chief arranger of the deckchairs on England’s ODI Titanic David Graveney, only five weeks too late.
In a stroke of PR genius, possibly designed to end speculation over the future of the captaincy, no captain is named.

December 22
Four days ahead of the Boxing Day Test, and with Fred wondering how to rouse the troops in the face of a humiliating whitewash, another stroke of off-field genius from England. They let Michael Vaughan do a press conference! So he can ponder publicly his chances of replacing Freddie! Brilliant. “The England captaincy is one of the best jobs in the world, and if it was made available I’d love to do it again,” muses Virgil, helpfully. In his three ultra lowkey comeback games Virgil has scored 0, 9 and 14. Tempting to say that’s not exactly England form. Then again…

December 23
Glenn McGrath becomes the third Aussie player to quit during the series, as he announces that he will retire after the World Cup. “It’s a tough decision because I still love playing. The body feels great and I couldn’t be happier with the way I’m bowling so everything’s exactly where I want it to be,” he said. “But on the other side, it’s an easy decision because of everything else that goes with it…the training, the travel, the time away from home.” Meanwhile Punter Ponting presents each of his team-mates with a $2000 watch to commemorate their series victory.
December 25
Does Punter Ponting have a little Christmas pressie for England, too? Having looked at the grassy MCG pitch for the fourth Test, he’s contemplating the unthinkable. “We’re actually considering playing the four quicks and leaving Warney out of this game,” he quips. As if. Freddie, resisting (just) the urge to shout ‘Help me! Someone! Please!’, urges Virgil to take the reins again quick-sharp. “We all want him back as soon as possible. The sooner he is back, the better. I’ve been doing this in his absence, so as soon as Michael’s fit we’ll see what happens.” England have their team Christmas lunch. Five of the team don’t come.

December 26
Fourth Test, Melbourne, day 1
England 159 all out; Australia 48/2
Shane Warne gets a standing ovation from the 89,000 crowd as he steps onto his home park for the first time, leading the Aussies onto the field with 699 Test wickets to his name. 6,000 people with tickets don’t show up. England stick to the script and, after winning the toss and batting, contrive to gift Warne 5/39 on a first day pitch. Warne’s 700th wicket is a slow-motion ball that is apparently too quick for Strauss – who has batted 47 overs for his 50. Hoggard twice traps Hayden plumb lbw but umpire Koertzen turns them both down. England look down the barrel. Again.

December 27
Australia 372/7
Same old story – at 84/5, England have Australia on the ropes. If only Symonds (154*) and Big Fish Hayden (153) hadn’t then put on 279 for the sixth wicket… Symonds survives a plumb lbw appeal on 52 and goes on to hit his first-ever Test ton; Hayden hits his 27th. At close of play, Matthew Hoggard suggests England get in Inspector Morse, Miss Marple and Sherlock Holmes. Not to shore up the hapless attack, but to investigate the leaking of England’s bowling plans, aka ‘The longest suicide note in history’, to ABC radio. The plans don’t say, “1) Try bowling at the three wooden things 2) Stop looking so scared and depressed.” But maybe they should. Hoggard is asked if England should try and steal Australia’s bowling plans. “It wouldn’t do us any good!”he says.

December 28
Australia 419. England 161 all out. Australia win by an innings and 99.
England slump to defeat within three days and are facing the first Ashes whitewash in 85 years. A possibly reluctant KP comes in at four with a face like thunder and departs for 1 eight balls later. Mahmood picks up a pair, confirming No 8 as a problem position (as well as Nos 1-7). Freddie fronts up again, looking even more shell-shocked with every press conference. “It’s been a tough trip, another tough three days,” he says.“I’m disappointed, upset… the emotions are all negative but we’ve got one game left. We don’t want to leave this country having been beaten 5-0. “As bad as I feel now, come the game in Sydney we have to go out there and put on a show.”

December 29
Are we downhearted, gang? No! Well, so says Freddie, anyway: “There is still a lot of character and pride in the side and it’s not nice when that’s questioned. Within our dressing room is a great spirit and that’s been there for a long time now and it’s not been dented.” Meanwhile, Oz coach Buch Buchanan figures that if 4/0 isn’t enough to put England’s morale at rock-bottom, maybe some of those mind games will do the trick. KP? “He certainly talks of himself as a team player. I personally don’t see any evidence of that but I’m not in their dressing room. In the field he seems distanced from the group; he spends a lot of time on the boundary.”

December 30
KP won’t rise to baiting as obvious as that, will he? Of course he will! “Buchanan’s comments are just ridiculous,” he whispers, menacingly. “I don’t really see a case or a cause for getting into a slanging match with the coach of Australia. He’s retiring after the World Cup and that’s probably good for Australia and good for the game.” And, while you’re here, fellas, there’s another thing. He really does want to bat at 4. No, really he does: “It has been playing on my mind for a while,” says KP. “I have been asked where I felt comfortable and happy, and five was where I did. Once I felt comfortable in my head about four, I said 
‘I can give it a go now.’” Alright?

December 31
Justin Langer announces that the New Year’s Test will be his last. “I feel sad about it but I know in my heart it’s the right thing to do,” he says. But will the New Year’s Test will be Jamie Dalrymple’s first? Most English pundits reckon so. Even Freddie hints that he’s in line. Dalrymple who, naturally, hasn’t played a first-class match since August 8, declares himself “desperate” to play. The England team spends New Year on two separate boats in Sydney Harbour.

January 2
Fifth test, sydney, day 1
England 234/4
Matthew Hoggard has a side strain, so England, on a turning pitch and with a well-documented love of bowlers-who-bat, bring in… not Jamie Dalrymple, after all, but Jimmy Anderson, as coach Fletcher waves his no-longer-secret masterplan at the media, shouting: “Alright – let’s do it your way.” England go into the game with four No 11s. Mahmood not a No 11, you say? Well, let’s see how it goes, eh? England win the toss, bat, do alright. Langer, fighting back the tears by all accounts (well, by coach Buchanan’s account) drops everything that comes his way.
January 3
Fifth test, sydney, day 2
England 291. Australia 188/4
England lose six wickets in 23 overs, as the tail shows slightly more resilience than everyone expected. Kidding. Read (2) and Mahmood (0 – his third duck in a row) are rolled over by Brett Lee, as the last five batsmen muster four runs between them. Flintoff (89) is ninth out, in sight of a ton, after shepherding the tail (That’s how it’s done, then). It’s a great, return-to-form innings, a belated throwback to 2005. A brilliant direct hit from Jimmy A runs out Punter – and the game appears to be in the balance.

January 4
Fifth test, Sydney, day 3
Australia 393. England 114/5
Jimmy gets Hussey with the second ball of the day! England are still 100 ahead, with Australia five-down! Soon after, naturally, England are 100 behind, as a demob happy Warner starts to enjoy himself. He whacks a top-scoring 71 off 65 balls, partly fired, he says later, by some sledging from Collingwood. Warne responds with some sledging gold, calling Colly’s MBE a “disgrace”. England bat. And fold. Again. Cook, Bell and Collingwood give it away, Strauss gets hit on the head by Lee, Freddie is out within sight of close. Monty comes in at No 7. No-one knows if he’s nightwatchman or if he has, finally, been deemed least bad of England’s five-man tail. England need a miracle now, even to avoid the whitewash. No-one thinks this will happen.

January 5
Fifth test, Sydney, day 4
England 147. Australia 46/0. Australia win by 10 wickets.
England’s tail folds. No, seriously. Read’s calling Monty for a suicide single to Symonds, one of the world’s best fielders, pretty much sums it up. Mahmood gets 4. Harmy manages to hit an unbeaten 16 before running out of partners. Maybe he should be promoted to No 4 next time. If there is a next time. England greet Langer with a guard of honour. Harmy storms in, looking the part, just in time for the Aussies to wrap up the whitewash – the first Ashes clean-sweep since 1921.
Afterwards, Freddie makes a speech: “We’ve tried our guts out on this tour. But it hasn’t been enough as we’ve come up against an Australian side who are at the top of their game,” he says.
The Aussies end the day in tears: Hayden cries, Langer weeps, even Punter says he’s fighting them back, as he scoops the man of the series award. Punt pays tribute to Warne, McGrath, Langer – and his old pal Damien Martyn, adding: “This has been 
the best five or six weeks of my life.”

Harsha Bhogle. Gordon Bennett.

November 1, 2007 by The Third Umpire  
Filed under The Third Umpire

 

Yep –it’s an Awards ‘Special’ this month as I sit with a handful of tranquilisers in front of the car crash TV that is the ICC Awards. What happens next is what happens next… 

30 secs “Tonight is about lights, cameras and ALL the cricket action over the previous 12 months,” intones a disembodied voice. 

(All about lights? Really? Sounds rubbish.) Just as the Voice promises a “glittering night”, the camera cuts to Jeremy Snape and Cheese Prior shuffling into the hall with all the enthusiasm of chief mourners. 

2 mins Show starts with two full minutes of a Powerpoint display, including a complex explanation of the voting system. Brilliant.

4 mins Hosts Harsha Bhogle and Kass Naidoo are met by applause that defines ‘smattering’. Bhogle looks manically cheerful. “It looks a bit like the Oscars doesn’t it, coming down the steps like that?” he says, cheerfully, gesturing at the set, as the entire audience thinks, “Not really”. “Or maybe one step above that because we’re celebrating unscripted drama not a script that someone has written for someone else.” Already, I want him to go away. 

5 mins “Look around this room!” Bhogle urges, as the audience’s attention wanders. “This is cricket itself!” Camera zooms into a row of empty seats. I lose the will to live.  

7 mins “To present the first award, can we call upon a magnificent hostile fast bowler but such a genial person off it!” burbles Bhogle, nonsensically. Ian Bishop hobbles down the giant stairs aided by a random blonde. Of all the people to choose to present an award after coming down some big stairs they’ve chosen a man who’s recovering from some kind of injury! “Good night everyone,” begins Bishop when he finally hits the stage. 

13 mins  Bhogle’s riffing. “The game’s continuing to grow beyond its traditional boundaries. The word ‘boundary’, though, suggests we’re stifling something, it suggests that we’re preventing… our game’s too beautiful, isn’t it, to have boundaries of any sorts. Except I suspect on grounds,” he twinkles. “And they’re getting a little smaller as well, aren’t they?” This is just jibberish. Surely.

22 mins “Why do you think they chose you to present the women’s award?” Bhogle asks MS Dhoni. There’s an awkward pause, before Dhoni quips: “Because I’m the only one with shoulder-length hair. Me and Nathan Bracken…” What’s he saying? He’s presenting the women’s award because he looks like a woman

31 mins  Confusion as head judge Sunny Gavaskar comes onstage from the wrong side. “That’s alright, Sunny,” chirps Bhogle. “It doesn’t matter if you went left or right. You always opened the batting anyway!” This doesn’t make any sense AT ALL. 

39 mins Umpire of the Year time. Stirring fanfarey music, accompanied by montage in which each nominee is shown 1) signalling a six and 2) raising the finger of doom after an LBW appeal. A joke, surely?

56 minsNice to see Jonty Rhodes walking down,” 

quips Bhogle, as he and a random blonde lollop down the big stairs. “I thought he might come sliding down!” Good one. 

67 mins  “Before Twenty20 came along there was only one form of the game at international level that saw all the action in one day,” Bhogle begins. What can he mean, readers? “And that, of course, was one-day international cricket,” finishes Bhogle, triumphantly. Gordon Bennett.

76 mins Montage of retiring greats is back-announced by Bhogle. “Legends. Absolute legends. Maybe that’s one way to beat Australia and that’s to get all of them to retire!” he quips, pausing for laughter that never comes. Clapping his hands with misplaced delight, he carries on regardless. “And then we’ll turn up against them. But the game survives all of them and that’s why it’s such a great game. It survived Graeme Pollock, it survived Sunil Gavaskar. And it’ll survive because there’s always younger players coming up and some of them go on to become legends. Some players already become legends while they’re still playing…” I’m not learning anything here. You?

82 mins  Punter Ponting wins cricketer of the year. He talks fluently about the importance of being a role model. Bhogle stands at the side, finally silent. Good.

86 mins  Tickertape finale. I quite like this bit. Only 86 minutes too late. But still.