England’s split leadership: 3 formats, 3 captains

England’s new leadership team

In an unprecedented move, the ECB today announced that England will have 3 captains – one for each format.

Following Andrew Strauss’s not unexpected announcement to relinquish the ODI captaincy, Alastair Cook was today named as the new captain.    Strauss also announced his retirement from international limited overs cricket, something that he wasn’t expected to do because of the impact on his central contract.  Historically, players are just “not selected” rather than retire.

In addition to this, Paul Collingwood has been effectively sacked as England T20 captain to be replaced by fast bowler Stuart Broad – a move that has raised some eyebrows but was necessary because of the question marks over Cook’s abilities in T20 cricket and Collingwood’s injury concerns and poor recent form.

Cook is far from proven as a 50 over opener and indeed wasn’t even in the recent England one day squad although did make a good impression during his captaincy stint in last year’s winter tour of Bangladesh.  Cook said “I have worked hard on my limited overs cricket in recent times, I’ve never seen myself as a test batsman exclusively and I know I have a lot to offer both strategically and as a top order batsmen in one-day cricket”

Strauss said “retiring from One-day cricket will enable me to focus solely on the test captaincy and our on-going development in the Test arena as we strive to be to the top ranked team in World cricket.”

“There is still a long way to go for us in One day cricket and this is the perfect opportunity for someone new to take up the challenge.  I look forward to working closely with both Alastair and Stuart.  They are both proven world class cricketers and have outstanding leadership qualities”.

ECB Managing Director, Hugh Morris paid tribute to both Andrew Strauss and Paul Collingwood and reiterated that Strauss will continue to play an important strategic role in the development of Team England and a crucial role in developing and mentoring both Cook and Broad.   Broad in particular is a totally inexperienced captain admitting during the press conference that he hasn’t captained a cricket team since school and there are only a handful of scheduled international T20 matches before the 2013 T20 World Cup.   When asked how he will cope with the captaincy having had so little experience he said “every time I step on the cricket pitch I try to think like a captain, think about fielding placements and I have had the benefit of the experience and knowledge of 2 great captains, Andrew Strauss and Michael Vaughan, both of whom have taught me a lot”.

Team director Andy Flower said he did try and persuade Strauss to stay on for another year or so but that Strauss had been fully involved in the discussions about his replacement and the future direction. As Strauss put it “the end of a World Cup is a watershed for all teams not just England and an opportunity to refresh and rejuvenate and plan for the next one.”  It is clear that there is very much a 4 year plan in place to take us to the next World Cup in 2015.

Alastair Cook wasn’t the only candidate for the role though.  Demonstrating how businesslike and professional the England set up is these days, Andy Flower admitted  that a number of candidates went through a rigorous interview process by a selection panel for the role although he wouldn’t divulge who these candidates were or who was on the selection panel.

The decision to have 3 different captains is unprecedented but Flower is, as always, willing to try new things  “this has never been tried before…..we do not know 100% that it will work as an efficient and effective system but we are going to give it a try and it is an exciting opportunity for us to work closely together as a leadership team sharing ideas which will benefit us across all 3 formats. “

Much has been said in recent weeks about overcrowded schedules and although Flower was clear that this decision is not as a direct result of schedule or workload issues he suggested that having “might be the most effective use of our resources”    Flower also talked about how workloads mean that they need to think more smartly about squad rotation.

Paul Collingwood is said to be “very upset” at the decision to remove him as captain and although Flower said he is very much still involved as a player,  if the focus is all on planning for the T20 World cup in 2013 and the World Cup in 2015, it is doubtful whether we will ever see Paul Collingwood in an England shirt again.

When asked whether it’s now a “straight shoot-out” between Broad and Cook who takes over the test captaincy, Flower naturally denied this was the case but they are clearly both being developed for future leadership and Cook may turn out not to be the natural first choice even though he is clearly the front-runner, it may be that there are some question marks about his test captaincy potential and this arrangement leaves the door open for Stuart Broad and possibly even others.  Andrew Strauss is adamant that although you can never predict the future it is his intention to still be captain for both the Ashes series in 2013 and 2014.

The move to 3 captains is not without its logic but isn’t proving to be universally popular with some claiming that it makes England look directionless and chaotic and raising questions about how it will actually work in practice.  One thing is clear though, if any man in world cricket can make an arrangement like this work it will be Andy Flower who will manage Team England like a well run business with his 3 captains running each of their departments with leadership and support from their Chief Executive.

This is the sort of arrangement that happens all the time in the real world and works very well. Individual players are perfectly capable of working out who their captain is on the field and strategic decisions are taken as part of a management team.    It remains to be seen whether in practice it actually works.

Cook leads the way for England

Alastair Cook 10/10
766 runs at 127.66

A magnificent series. By the end of last summer, Cook was clinging on to his place in the England side and, by his own admission, “couldn’t hit a beach ball.” He averaged just 26 in previous Ashes encounters and his troubles outside the off-stump had the Australian bowlers salivating in anticipation. His career appeared to be in the balance.

It’s not any more. Cook batted for more than 36 hours in the series – no Englishman has ever spent longer at the crease in a Test series – and scored an eye-watering 766 runs. Only Wally Hammond and Don Bradman have scored more in an Ashes series. He fully deserved his man of the series award.

How did he do it? He left the ball outside the off stump and waited for the bowlers to stray into his areas. Then he cut, pulled and flicked to his heart’s content. And, as his confidence grew, he even unveiled a surprisingly elegant cover drives. Aged just 26, he’s already scored over 5,000 Test runs and recorded 16 Test centuries: he’s going to break every English Test batting record in existence.

Credit, too, for the selectors who stuck with him and the coaches who worked with him. Their judgement and faith has been fully vindicated.

Andrew Strauss 8/10
307 runs at 43.85

A sound, if unspectacular, series with the bat. Bouncing back from his first over dismissal at Brisbane, he settled England’s nerves with their first century of the series in the second innings. He passed 50 three more times in the series, often helping his side steal the initiative, but failing to go on.

His greatest contribution, however, remains the captaincy. While he’s somewhat conservative on the pitch, his admirable calm head ans sensible disposition helped England regroup after a shaky start at Brisbane and the debacle of Perth. He’s now one of just three man (Hutton and Brearley are the others) to have led England to Ashes success home and away. There’s little reason to think he can’t go further and lead England to World Cup success and the top of the Test rankings.

Jonathan Trott 9/10
445 runs at 89

You have to go back a long, long time to find a better England No. 3 than Trott. His sound technique, calm head and relentless hunger for runs have created a wonderfully consistent Test batsman who is equally proficient coming in at 0-1 or 200-1. And he seems to love batting against Australia: before his duck in Sydney he averaged more than 100 in the Ashes. Don’t forget that run-out of Katich at Adelaide, either. Trott was superb and has now answered every question about his technique and temperament.

Kevin Pietersen 7/10
360 runs at 60
1 wicket at 16

A somewhat perplexing series. Magnificent at Adelaide – he scored a match-winning double-century and took a crucial wicket – he only passed 50 once more in the series. For a player with as much talent as Pietersen, that’s slightly disappointing. Some of his off-field comments – such as the swipe at Peter Moores – hardly helped team unity, either. Even if there was more than a grain of truth in them.

Paul Collingwood 3.5/10
82 runs at 13.83
2 wickets at 36.50

He took several wonderful catches and a couple of useful wickets but, from a personal perspective, this was a bitterly disappointing series from Collingwood. He rarely looked comfortable at the crease and, while all his colleagues flourished, often looked as if he were struggling to cope with the pace of the Australian bowlers. His retirement was inevitable. It was the right decision, too. For all his determination and all his positive contributions behind the scenes, it’s runs that define a batsman’s worth and Collingwood simply hasn’t scored enough.

Ian Bell 8/10
329 runs at 65.80

If there were still doubters before this series, they are surely silenced now. No-one on either side timed the ball as sweetly as Bell and his century at Sydney, an innings that ensured his side of a series win, was the coming of age of a man who has promised much for a long time. Batting at least one place too low, he was often obliged to sacrifice his wicket in the search for quick runs and the feeling persists that, with more opportunity, Bell might have gained many of the plaudits that have gone to Cook. It is surely telling that, in the first innings at Brisbane and Perth, with all his colleagues struggling, Bell top scored. The next few years promise much.

Matt Prior 7/10
252 runs at 50.40
23 catches

A much improved ‘keeper, Prior was very good against the fast bowlers and, the odd indiscretion apart, reliable against the spinners. His six catches in an innings at Melbourne equalled an Ashes record and he finished with an admirable 23 victims. With the bat, he improved after a shaky start (he was part of Siddle’s hat-trick in Brisbane) and scored a maiden Ashes century at Sydney. To underline the selfless nature of his play, it was the fastest Ashes century by an Englishman since Ian Botham in 1981.

Stuart Broad 3/10
0 runs at 0
2 wickets at 80.50

A bitterly disappointing series. A muscle tear forced Broad out of the series after the second Test, by which time he’d claimed just two wickets and suffered a first ball dismissal. He had bowled somewhat better than the figures suggested, however, conceding just 2.3 runs an over and ensuring his captain a measure of control in the field. The pitch at Perth would surely have suited him ideally bit, with Tremlett, Finn and Bresnan now all pressing for inclusion, Broad can no longer consider himself an automatic selection.

Graeme Swann 6/10
88 runs at 22
15 wickets at 39.80

It was presumed before the series that if England were to win, Swann would need to enjoy a big series. It didn’t turn out that way. Swann failed to find much help from the Australian pitches and found Hussey one of the toughest opponents of his Test career to date. Swann didn’t always look comfortable against Australia’s quick bowling, either. Still, when conditions suited, at Adelaide, he played his part with a five-wicket haul that helped his side to victory, while his excellent bowling at Melbourne went largely unrewarded. He remained cheerful on and off the pitch, too, and certainly contributed to the relaxed and happy mood in the England camp.

Chris Tremlett 9/10
19 runs at 6.33
17 wickets at 23.35

A breakthrough series. Seemingly in the cricketing wilderness just 12-months ago, Tremlett build on his excellent season in county cricket with a performance that announced him as one of the most fearsome fast bowlers in world cricket. Casting off his reputation as injury prone and small hearted, Tremlett bowled with pace, bounce, hostility and skill. In such form, he is as fearsome as fast bowler as any in the world.

Tim Bresnan 8/10
39 runs at 19.50
11 wickets at 19.54

Called into the side for the final two Tests, Bresnan responded with two highly impressive performances. Maintaining an excellent, nagging line and length, Bresnan gained movement in the air and off the pitch and generated surprising pace. While the highlight may have been the superb spell in Melbourne that accounted for Ponting, Hussey and Watson within 18 balls at the cost of just two runs, his batting at Sydney will also have reminded the selectors of his all-round ability.

James Anderson 9/10
22 runs at 4.40
26 wickets at 26.04

The series that established Anderson’s reputation as one of England’s finest post-war bowlers. Answering all the questions, Anderson swung the new ball conventionally, reversed the old ball, gained movement off the seam and, throughout, maintained excellent control and a wonderfully probing line and length. There are very few better fast bowlers in world cricket.

Steve Finn 7/10
3 runs at 3
14 wickets at 33.14

Started the series well, with six wickets in an innings at Brisbane and a brave performance in Adelaide. But he seemed to tire in Perth and paid the price for conceding more than four an over by losing his place for the final two Tests. It was a brave decision from the selectors, however, as, at the time, Finn was England’s leading wicket-taker in the series. Aged only 21, Finn remains one for the future.

The best and worst of 2010

Highlight of the year:
England’s success in the World T20.
Until May, England held an unwanted record in limited-overs cricket. Of all the ever-present Test-playing nations over the last 25 years, England were the only side not to have won a global tournament. West Indies, India, Pakistan, Australia, Sri Lanka and New Zealand all had better records.
All that changed in May. Stung by a series of embarrassing reverses, England coach Andy Flower resolved to adopt a bold, new approach. As Paul Collingwood, England’s T20- captain put it: “It got to the point, last year, when the two Andys [Flower and Strauss] said, ‘Look, we’ve got to do things differently. If we continue to do the same old things, we’ll continue to get the same old results.’ England have never really done very well in one-day cricket. I remember in my early days Duncan Fletcher used to tell us, “Just bat though the 50 overs in a one-day international, because we kept getting bowled out in 40 overs. Our aim was just to bat 50 overs!”
So England selected a new-look side. In it were the likes of Michael Lumb, Michael Yardy, Ryan Sidebottom and Craig Kieswetter – all of whom might be considered T20 specialists – and all of whom combined to form a far more positive, athletic and fearless team than England ever before fielded.
Kevin Pietersen batted brilliantly, Graeme Swann bowled superbly and all their colleagues chipped in with bat, ball and in the field. There was nothing lucky about England’s success: the best team won.

Lowlight of the year
The match-fixing scandal.
It was surely fitting that the news broke during an epic Test at Lord’s – the home of cricket – that should have captivated spectators.
An outrageously talented, young fast bowler – Mohammad Amir – was doing battle with England’s golden boy – Stuart Broad – in a wonderfully entertaining game.
But then ‘those’ pictures were published. Pictures that proved, beyond reasonable doubt, that Pakistan players were taking money in exchange for match-fixing. Amir was right in the thick of it, but the episode has raised serious questions about many of his team-mates and Pakistan cricket in general. It’s no exaggeration to say that the integrity of the sport has never been so badly compromised.
There is a bright side. Such has been the furore around the story that the ICC have finally been forced to confront a cancer that has eaten away at the game for years. Several players face lengthy bans, though it is hard to see how the game can really be clean while Pakistan cricket – rotten to its core – is allowed to compete at world level. Just as it is sometimes necessary to cut off a limb to save a body, so Pakistan cricket requires a substantial period in isolation before we can be assured it will not poison the rest of world cricket.

Comeback of the year:
Worcestershire.
Few gave Worcestershire much hope of success in 2010. After a horrid 2009 saw them relegated after going through the whole Championship season without a win, they then lost five senior players (Kabir Ali, Steve Davies, Stephen Moore, Gareth Batty and Simon Jones) to other counties and had to cut their cricket budget by £300,000.
Yet, thanks to a strong team spirit, some astute recruiting – Alan Richardson and Shakib-Al-Hasan in particular – and some encouraging performances from young players such as Moeen Ali and Alexei Kervezee, Worcestershire achieved an unlikely but thoroughly deserved promotion.
There were still some poor days – remember that loss against the Unicorns? – that suggest Worcestershire remain a work in progress but, with results showing a marked resurgence once Daryl Mitchell assumed the captaincy (they won four CB40 games in and four of their last six Championship games) they may shock a few in 2011, too.
Chris Tremlett also deserves a mention in this category. At the end of 2009, Tremlett was unwanted by Hampshire and in danger of drifting out of the game as a massively unfulfilled talent. Barely 12-months later, however, he has developed into the world-class fast bowler his talent always suggested he could become and is an automatic selection in the England side.

Man of the year
Zulqarnain Haider
He may never have made a huge impression as a player – he played only one Test, after all – but the world of cricket may yet come to be most grateful for Zulqarnain Haider’s contribution.
Haider, a wicket-keeper batsman on the fringes of the Pakistan side, not only declined the overtures of those wanting to lure him into match-fixing, but blew the whistle on their entire operation.
It was a brave move. Not only did it end Haider’s hopes of a career in international cricket, but it may well have jeopardised his safety and the safety of his family. If, as suspected, the roots of match-fixing spread into the worlds of terrorism and organised crime, then Haider has made some powerful enemies. He recently sought asylum in the UK and may require protection for the rest of his life.
The reaction of many involved in cricket in Pakistan spoke volumes. Instead of offering Haider support, he was ridiculed. The reason? His information promises to bring down many players and officials who have made vast sums from match-fixing. It was also telling that Haider reported his concerns not to the cricketing authorities, but to the media. It suggests, surely, how much confidence he had in the game’s governing body to deal with such a serious situation. Remember, it was the media – not the much-vaunted Anti-Corruption Unit – that uncovered the Pakistan match-fixing story in the first place.

Batsman of the year:
Alastair Cook.
Within an ace of being dropped late into the English summer, Cook has responded with a run of form so purple that it threatens records only Don Bradman could reach. Cook has produced match-turning innings in four of his last six Tests and, after 695 runs at an average of 116 a time (with power to add) is fully vindicating the England selectors’ admirable faith in him.

Bowler of the year:
Graeme Swan
Most people thought off-spin was a dying art. Particularly if the spinner didn’t have the ability to bowl the ‘doosra’; a delivery that many feel is impossible without being chucked in any case.
But then Swann came along. With the old-fashioned virtues of flight, control, variation and turn, Swann has claimed 62 Test wickets at 26 apiece this year (with power to add) and played a key role in England’s World T20 triumph. He rose to second in the world Test ratings, third in the ODI ratings and proved that hard work, intelligence and perseverance are qualities that never lose their value at any level of the game.

Near miss of the year:
Somerset.
Runners-up in all three domestic competitions, it was hard not to feel sorry for Somerset in 2010. They remain one of the few counties never to have won the county championship but, having strengthened once again this winter, may well break their duck in 2011.

Injury ends Broad’s tour

Stuart Broad has been ruled out of the remainder of the Ashes with a torn abdominal muscle. Broad will return to the UK tonight to begin rehabilitation, missing the remaining three Test and the limited-overs series that follows.

Broad’s loss is a substantial blow for England. He has bowled far better than his return of two wickets suggests, conceding only 2.3 an over and ensuring his captain some control in the field. His replacement for Perth, a pitch which might well have suited Broad ideally, will be one of Tremlett, Shahzad and Bresnan.

“Playing for England in an Ashes series in Australia has been something I’ve dreamed of for a long time” Broad said. “So to have that cut short by injury is devastating.

“So far the series has been everything I had anticipated and knowing I’ll play no further part is quite hard to take. Given the way we had started the series I was looking forward to playing a leading role in England retaining the Ashes but that’s not to be.

“Injuries happen and there’s nothing I can do about it other than make sure I get stuck into rehabilitation and come back stronger in time for the World Cup next year. This winter is a big one for the England team so my focus will have to shift to preparing for the World Cup.”

Where the Ashes will be won and lost

Pakistan sink to new low

Were this series a boxing bout, the referee would have stopped it by now. Had it been a horse race, Pakistan would have fallen at the first. And had it been anything to do with swimming, Pakistan would surely have drowned.
As it is, just one day into the second Test of a four-match series, and Pakistan are being embarrassed. Less than a week after registering their lowest Test score against England (80 at Trent Bridge), they set a grim new record: bowled out in under 40 overs for just 72.

There are some mitigating factors. Pakistan are in a rebuilding phase and their young batsmen – four of their top seven can muster just 15 Tests between them – have precious little experience in such bowler friendly conditions.

Nor can the last 12-months have been easy. The team has been torn apart by off-field issues and the lack of stability – and the flooding – in their homeland can hardly have helped.

England’s bowlers deserve credit, too. In these conditions, Jimmy Anderson is a masterful performer and the movement he gained here – at will and in both directions – would have tested any batsmen. Stuart Broad has also made huge strides this summer and produced a performance of maturity and skill. Instead of straining for pace, both men were content to allow the conditions to help them and remain patient. It wasn’t as if Pakistan’s batsmen made them wait for long.

And that’s the problem. For though Pakistan do have some reasons to feel hard done-by, a total of 72 is hardly excusable. Particularly after winning the toss.

Their batsmen lacked application and technique. Despite having arrived in England over a month ago, they are still pushing, prodding and thrashing at the moving ball as if they are on subcontinent pitches. This contest resembles amateurs against professionals.

Farhat and Butt were both drawn into pushing at deliveries angled across them, Shoaib Malik was brilliantly caught by the impressive Matt Prior after driving at a fine outswinger, before Azhar Ali, petrified at pushing at an outswinger, was trapped by one that nipped back. Umar Akmal was punished for not moving his feet and pinned in front, while Zulqarnain Haider looked out of his depth as he edged a good length ball. Umar Amin flashed optimistically and was well caught at third slip.

There can be few excuses for their fielding, either. They missed between four or five chances (depending on how harshly you want to judge them) in the 34.2 overs of England’s reply, providing their deserving bowlers with very little chance of clawing their way back into the game. Imran Farhat’s drop at first slip, off Mo Asif, when Jonathan Trott had just eight, was a shocker and suffice it to say that the performance of debutant Zulqarnain Haider, who followed his first ball dismissal with an untidy display behind the stumps, suggests the search for a reliable wicket-keeper goes on.

Where do Pakistan go from here? There aren’t any quick fixes. So they have to show patience with this group of players. They have shown they have ability – it is, remember, only a couple of Tests since they defeated Australia – and they will improve. Perhaps the likes of Mohammad Yousuf might add steel to the middle-order, but it’s asking a great deal for a man who hasn’t played cricket for months to come into this side and precipitate an immediate improvement. He’s not an alchemist.

Besides, England have a few concerns of their own. Alastair Cook, who was fooled by a slower ball bouncer and miscued a pull to slip, looks horribly uncomfortable with anything on or outside off stump – which is quite a problem for an opening batsmen – while Kevin Pietersen is pushing for the ball without confidence. He has been dropped twice already. Andrew Strauss edged a good one that swung back at him sharply.

On a larger scale, the ECB must be concerned about the attendance at Edgbaston. After the debacle of Leeds, where Pakistan supporters stayed away in their droves, just 10,000 attended the first day here. A similar number are expected on the second day, but much fewer from there on. It means Warwickshire will fall somewhere below budget (they were anticipating sales of around 45,000 over the course of the game).

It would nice to think that lessons might be learned. Ticket prices here (£60 for adults and between £10 and £20 for under-16s) are patently too high and Pakistan supporters were again very thin on the ground.  But, with the whole of the English game desperately scrabbling for every last pound in order to pay-off their eye-watering debts, it will take a major re-think before anything changes.

The ECB are currently close to securing the right to host next year’s Pakistan v India series; it is to be hoped Indian supporters show more interest in the fortunes of their Test side.

The Hit Parade: the 2007 ICC World Twenty20 day by day

| Day 1 |

What’s a par score in international Twenty20? 170? 180? What about 200-plus? The West Indies race out of the traps to hit 205/6 against South Africa at the Wanderers, with Chris Gayle playing the innings of the tournament inside the first hour: 117 runs off 57 balls, including 88 runs in boundaries. By half-time the Windies are installed as second favourites to win the whole thing. By full-time, that’s out the window as slack bowling and slack fielding return to haunt them and the Saffers revisit their 438-v-434 Jo’burg heroics: they chase the target down with 14 balls to spare. Pundits don their tin hats and prepare for a big-scoring tournament – although, in fact, only one more game (India v England) would produce more runs, and no-one else would hit a century over the whole fortnight.

| Day 2 |

A sensation in Cape Town as Zimbabwe, who have not beaten a major side in an ODI for nearly four years, turn over Australia. After some – according to Punter Ponting – “diabolical” batting at the top, the world champs recover from 19/3 to make a paltry 138/9. Zims’ keep-bat Brendan Taylor (60 off 45) then shows them how its done, holding his nerve to ‘hit’ the winning leg byes with a ball to spare. “Of course I’m embarrassed,” declares Punter, talking even faster than normal. “Wehavebeenoutplayed. It is a mental thing for us. We have to start respecting the game.”

| Day 3 |

First, Zimbabwe beat Australia; now England – thanks to 79 off 37 from KP and some mid-order strangling from Mascarenhas and Schofield with the ball – beat Zimbabwe. KP puts two and two together and gets… ahead of himself: “We have a great chance to send Australia home early,” he says. “They humiliated us throughout last winter and it would be nice to give them a bit of humiliation in return.”

India-Scotland is abandoned without a ball being bowled – which, weirdly, puts India on the brink of going home if they lose too heavily to Pakistan.

West Indies are already going home – they lose by six wickets to Bangladesh, thanks chiefly to Mo Ashraful’s 61 off 27 balls.

| Day 4 |

England-Australia! In the most exciting format of the game yet invented! Should have been a thriller… but it’s as flat as yesterday’s beer, as England look at best cowed and at worst second rate. Humiliation is on the menu, as KP predicted, but it’s Australia who win with more than five overs to spare. There are 17 dot balls in the first six overs of England’s innings, as the right-armer Clark and the left-armer Johnson find the exact unplayable spot (generally very wide outside off stump) and keep plugging at it.

After England limp along painfully to 135, the pitch is apparently changed for the Aussie innings: Hayden and Gilchrist play as if on a carefree drive in the country. James Kirtley’s first over in international cricket for three years begins with three fours from Hayden. Kirtley is taken off at once and not seen for the rest of the tournament. Freddie Flintoff, the pick of the bowlers, spends the second half wincing. As do England supporters around the world.

In Durban, India and Pakistan play out international T20’s first-ever tie. With top-scorer Misbah-ul-Haq at the crease, Pakistan need just a single to win off the last two balls – but Misbah is run out off the last ball, plunging the sides into 1) a crazily extended 15-minute interlude with everyone running about, practising bowling, giving interviews and so forth and 2) an exciting (but irrelevent) bowl out. India, nominating part-time bowlers Sehwag and Uthappa in their first three, hit the stumps three times out of three. Pakistan manage… nought. Indian skipper MS Dhoni reveals he chose his bowlers based on who’d done well in practice; Pakistan skip Shoaib Malik reveals he didn’t even know there was going to be a shoot-out.

Earlier in the day, Sri Lanka hammer a world-record 260/6 (Jayasuriya 88 from 44, Jayawardene 65 from 27, Mubarak 45 from 13) to trounce Kenya by 172 runs – the equivalent of a 430-run win in a 50-over game.

| Day 5 |

Sri Lanka and South Africa win dead group-stages rubbers. On the eve of England’s game against the hosts, Paul Collingwood has a late-night trip to an ‘inappropriate’ bar that will end up with him saying sorry and being fined £1000. No one knows about the inappropriate trip at this stage. Not even, for five or ten minutes, Colly himself who takes a while to work out that he’s drinking in South Africa’s premier ‘upmarket’ lapdance bar, with 100 ‘beautiful’ ‘dancers’ in the ‘area’. He had it down as a JD Wetherspoons! And this guy’s the captain!

| Day 6 |

The Super Eights kick off. Australia, into their stride after their brushes with minnows Zimbabwe and England, give Bangladesh a thumping. Brett Lee takes the first T20 hat-trick; the batters knock off the runs with six overs to spare.

In Cape Town, England miss seven catches as they contrive to blow a winning position against South Africa. Colly is involved in the key mix-up, with Owais Shah, in the field: the Saffers are 113/6 with just 17 balls left, when the pair miss Albie Morkel off Schofield. Morkel turns into a superman, makes 43 off 20, Saffers post 154 and England never get near. KP is freakishly run-out, after colliding with bowler Shaun Pollock; Colly gets a first-ball duck and ends a glum day by sending in Jeremy Snape – five years out of ODIs and three weeks since his last county innings – ahead of in-form whacker Dimi Mascarenhas. Snape gets 7 from 400 balls (okay, 11) as England go down by 19 runs.

| Day 7 |

Pakistan shape up for being the dark horses by beating pre-tournament second-favourites Sri Lanka in Jo’burg. Coach Moores breaks Matt Prior’s thumb in training, leaving England without a specialist keeper for tomorrow’s possibly crunch game with New Zealand.

| Day 8 |

England throw it away against New Zealand, much as they did against South Africa. Except even more so. Vikram Solanki takes the gauntlets and does… alright. England have the Black Caps in the cart twice: 1) when they reduce them to 91/5 before letting them off the hook 2) when Solanki and Maddy put on 62 in eight overs for the first wicket. But England STILL lose their way, chasing 165 to win: KP gets bowled by Vettori attempting a crazy reverse sweep. There are three hapless run outs. It’s not a professional showing. Colly is fined £1000 for his visit to the lapdance club.

| Day 9 |

England’s supermodel-thin hopes of qualification for the semis end when Justin Kemp (89 from 56) manhandles South Africa to victory over New Zealand. That means England are left playing for pride against India. Which soon disappears over extra-cover, backward point, square-leg, midwicket (twice) and mid-on as Yuvraj Singh biffs his way into history by hitting six sixes off Stuart Broad. Actually, the ball flies off his bat with a series of effortless flicks as Broad tries everything to halt the raining maximums bar varying his pace, line, length and little-boy-lost facial expression.

Yuvraj, his 50 coming off an insane 12 balls, is the difference between the teams. While England prepare to fly on to Sri Lanka, Andrew Flintoff, who has played through the pain throughout the tournament, will, it is announced, fly home. Ricky Ponting is also ruled out of the rest of the tournament after twanging his hammy.

| Day 10 |

It’s come down to an effective quarter-final at Newlands between the 50-over World Cup finalists. But, once again, Australia simply blow Sri Lanka away, dismissing them for 101 and then knocking off the runs in 62 balls without losing a wicket.

“Everything happens so quickly, I don’t think there’s time to choke,” said Shaun Pollock before the tournament. Wrong! The Saffers, so far unbeaten, tumble out of the tournament in humiliating fashion: skittled for 116 (including a solitary six) by India, they lose by 37 runs. “There’s a lot of disappointment knowing you’ve lost one game in the tournament and you’re out,” says Graeme Smith, showing a masterful understanding of how cups work.

| Day 11 |

Rest day. And, according to MS Dhoni, the players really need it. “It is just a three-hour match,” quoth the stumper. “But the intensity and involvement is more than a 50-over match or even a Test match.” Australia’s always-injured Shane Watson must surely agree. He lives up to his ‘New Flintoff tag’ as he returns home with a hamstring injury, leaving the Aussies with just 13 fit players.

| Day 12 |

Pakistan and India win through to a dream final after two breathless semis. In Cape Town, New Zealand go to pieces against Pakistan. A seething Daniel Vettori describes his side’s batting as “pretty inept” as they make 143/8. Ross Taylor manages to run out two team-mates in farcical circumstances and to spill a chance in the deep off Pakistan danger-man Imran Nazir. Nazir hits five sixes in a 59 that sets up the successful run chase.

In a noisy Kingsmead stadium full of their own supporters, India unseat Australia in a terrific topsy-turvy game. Another imperious innings from Yuvraj Singh (70 off 30 this time) leads India to a mighty 188/5, before a pumped-up Sree Sreesanth despatches Gilchrist and Hayden with a) perfect yorkers and b) a load of shouting, gesturing and punching the ground. Australia’s hearts-in-mouths chase twists both ways. With 54 needed off five and Hussey and Symonds at the crease, it looks their game. But Harbhajan Singh puts the clamps on and the Aussies wind up needing an impossible 22 off the last over.

| Day 13 |

Another rest day. It’s been an amazing tournament, almost perfectly run, but the Powers That Be will insist on a fly in the ointment. Holding the final on a Monday not a Sunday. What’s that about?

| Day 14 |

India snatch the trophy in the last over of a final worthy of a great tournament. In front of 32,000 in Jo’burg, two breathless weeks of cricket comes down to one ill-judged shot. With six needed off four balls, Misbah-ul-Haq (him again) opts to try an insane paddle over his shoulder off Joginder Sharma. He’s caught at short fine leg and the game is up for Pakistan. “No-one expected us to win,” says skipper Dhoni afterwards. “But the way we played today we deserve a big celebration.”